Memory Lane

Found a box of 'precious' in my room while i was doing my final clean up for the month. It was left unattended for a long time and so i decided to open it up... I grinned as i saw the items that was found inside the box.. :) memories came rushing in like the flood as one by one each item that was found inside the box has an untold stories..

Lying there was a kindergarten graduation picture of myself.. i wonder why i look so weird with perm hair? I dont remember im born with natural curls???.. hmm.. mum must be the cluprit who done that.

In that big box there lies all my credentials.. report books.. letters.. photo albums etc.. stuff that i have not been running through it with and now just feel so happy to recollect those memories one by one..the feelings are just like bumping into a long lost friend- Time for reunion :)

One thing i must admit, im not an intelligent person. Though someone have commented on me once that i look like one graduate :) well, i may look like one... talk like one but was never one... with that compliment of cos im really flatted. Well if there is a university to be qualify myself for, that will definitely be the school of great hard knocks of life :)

The first item i saw was my report books ... talk about my results.. haha.. when i was in my kindergartern.. i was position.. 44th person out of 52 in the class! haha.. thats comforting.. at least im not the last one .. but the red marks i have gotten in the report book sure scare the hell out of my folks.. heehee...

Growing up hasnt been an easy one not to say that my folks are not with me my thru my adolences period. All along, my small world was involved around with my grandma and grandpa. I see it as a way of a subsitituion of parental's love. My gran's love for me are really unconditional it surpasses all human love :) To them I was their proud grandchildren even though im always spoilt in other's eyes..

I always remember how i was the rotten apple in the class.. my form teacher often put remarks on the small blue note book to let me bring back to let my grandpa see and sign.. Each time when i got home i will hand it over to him.. and he will just sign and went thru it and he didnt really scold me haha.. he just shake his head and say.. not again?

The stuff my teacher wrote says that im lack of home supervision.. got to be neat.. brush up english.. got to get help.. blah.. blah.. blah.. haha..

Now ah gong is gone no longer around oh how i missed him.. i missed talking to him, i missed him carrying me in his arms when im still a child.. i missed him when he coaxed me to sleep and sing his favourite songs.. i just miss all of him :(

Even when going to secondary schools was not an easy task for me.. back there i was more darker in skin tone.. i dont look like a princess.. my hair cut is so tomboyish.. and there isnt any sense of feminity in me.. i was being mocked , disturbed, laughed at by classmates just because they think that im the 'ugly duckling' in class. My self-esteem went down to the rock bottom... and i hardly got any friends while im in my secondary one and two...

You must be finding very hard to believe when u read it rite? I find it hard too.. haha.. things change and people do change through situtations.. and before i know it.. i am who i am now by God's grace throughout the course of these years...

Who could have thought a girl that was so insecured and so low self esteem about herself can be a relational person in turn to be an extrovert? Who could have thought a girl who flunk her English while during school time where teachers almost gave up hope started to write blogs and own poems? Guess it was my darkest period where gifts, talents and ability were discovered.. and till now im still in search for my life's mission purpose :)

Since young i always wanted to explore whats over the other side of the world, going to overseas to studies and to have a taste of aboard life is one of my secret wish.. on seeing my childhood friend who went overseas how i wish sometimes im born into a better family.. and to me her life is just so plain sailing... no big storms.. no hurricane.. went australia to study and eventually get married to her first and last boyfriend, and now we lost contact... from the latest news i heard from other friends is she is happily married with 3 kids and a loving husband.

Cant complain much... my close friends always say if we tend to look what we dont have we will really become bitter and miserable.. but if we start counting our blessings one by one.. we will be surprised actually we might be better off then some others.

Life here on earth is so drama.. everyone played different roles.. and when one role has ended the other part of us has begin to take on into something else.

I used to think that as long as i tried my best not to change, we will maintain best of friends for life.. but now even if i havent change.. people around me started too, because of the change factor around our love ones.. either we moved along with them and enter into their seasons.. if not u will still be there and left behind. I was actually very disappointed with life changes, letters that my close friends in school that wrote to me that we will be friends forever is all now out of sight.. out of mind..

Have to move along with time and seasons now .. too much disppointments that i dont wish to talk about it.. so i have learn the hard way.. NEVER rely on people :) they are not forever.. and there is no such things as forever in life now....

Next.. there is a pile of letters and cards.. letters from my very own dear Pastor Kong. I was very happy to find back those cards and letters that Pastor Kong, Sun and some of the pionners that sent to me for encouragement while im still a young christian .. it brings comfort to my soul and .... hmm... maybe i should write a letter to Pastor to up keep about my life since we have not been able to catch up personally... :)

Wow.. so much i have written.. haha.. i just want to be happy.. getting more and more long winded.. okay... time to go for the black box again to distress before i hit my head on the sack...