My Sercet Place

I tend to ponder and think alot lately. Many things came into my mind this week. Talk to God after so much of bottling up poured out my heart to Him. Cried buckets at His presence until i am found by Him that nite.

After that encounter i had on that Friday, i know i begin to see things in a different perception. People grow weary, exhuasted, defeated through life challenges, who doesnt? Well i do feel the same way too especially with each different sets of life testings that have come along my way. Its like an never ending road how often it leads me to heart breaks and uncertainity.

Talk about fatigue? Who is not? Talk about hopelessness??? Who hasnt been through? Many times! i have been there :) Failures, defeats seems to be my constant companion!

Wonder why am still in His presence till today??? i am in awe with myself as well :) ... I guess the goodness of God lead ones into repentance. Day in day out His mercy never cease to wash over me. I could have thrown in the towel like what others did and go back to my portgal ways... i could have been ... but i did not. Not because i cannot or dare not... But i chose not too.

But yet i know i will still face all these giants. Giants of lack, giants of faithlessness, giants of insecurities etc... all these giants that cant wait to gobble me up..

Despite of all i have learn to stay with God... its the safest place where a refugee can dwell in. Others chose to avoid and run away but i just want to hide under His shadow of His mighty wings. A place where i can be at ease with myself and Him...

Human's Will battling against His? Who will win in the end? I hope not mine:) I am letting go, slowly but surely... the pain of losing him seems to fade as time ticks by. Im glad our path has cross and i am grateful that it does stay for awhile though not forever. I will remember him and there will always be a small space in my heart to contain this friend of mine :)

God is good, there is no doubt about it.. though i may not understand His plans. Sometimes it seems like my life is a joke, a laughing stock to others and people tend to lead a better life but i know there is always a better days ahead for me if i dont lose heart and grow weary in doing good.

I can imagine when the day comes, as blessings started to pour and bestow upon me Abba will be smiling down from heaven...after all He gives good gifts to His own :)

Okay folks... i will stop penning... i am going back to my secret place :) Meeting Him there...