Heaven

Some say heaven is a place where everyone longs to go
A place no pain or sorrow

Some say heaven is a place where we can play all day
And forgetting all our troubles away

But I say heaven is a place where we meet God face to face
And worshiping Him together all day

Heaven is a place where there is no tears
As God has already drive away all fears

Heaven is a place where sadness disappear
Because God is always near

So I say heaven is a wonderful place to stay
Where all the saints will gather there one day

Walking with Him

There are moments that we go through mountain tops
There are moments that we go through deep valleys

But I know no matter where you go Lord
My heart will always follow

There are times I may sulk like little child
As things in my life is not what I thought all about

But again because of your unfailing love that never ceases
It gives me reason to believe that all these while you are here right beside me

Being with you on this journey can be anticipating
As each step i may not know where you are leading

So Lord please be my heartbeat when mine is hurting
Be my feet when my strength is failing
Be my guide when my sight is weakening

Help me to complete my walk with you
because you are my God since my youth

Some day i will see you face to face
And one thing i will do forever is to be in your warm embrace

Depression

Deeper and deeper to the valley I go
Not knowing when my life is going to be unfold

Been in this circle for so long
Up and down this coaster ride for gone

Wish that I will be out of this pit
But who can really help me out of it

Friends along me started to cheer me up
But I know I can only be the one who can gear myself up

Don’t know when this monster will go away
So that I can go out to the field and play

Friendship with all of you ...


Hahaha... er... nothing much.. but just a quick snap shot ..
i took together with Kan Tan today... haha.. Nice :) power! Hey Kan Tan.. Thanks for your friendship.. Let me recap what we learn in cell today.. Our character is tested.. in the daily.. or should i say weekly irritation? haha.. tks for allowing me to "irritate" or "disturb" you weekly :) cheers to our friendship..



Nothing beats in the company of many good friends.. thanks for making my birthday such a memorable one :) Though my oil king has not arrive yet.. But God surrounds me with many good friends to be with me on this day. Cant thank you people enough.... May we all grow old together :)

Hey John: whr is my man hunt? Got pray for me boh?
Kan tan : if you want your cafe fast.. pray more than 3 times can? hahaah.. hurry up.. time is ticking liao... tick tock.. tick tock...

When God Seems Silent

Finally broke into writing my blog again. Yes its in the middle of the night while the whole world is half asleep. When back home.. feeling stunned, amazed, over wheelemed by His grace once again. Yes He did it again for me :) He is like a superman that come to my rescue just in time of need. He is like the hero that rescue me from the hands of the villians and take me back into His arms. He is ever so faithful when im so faithless, He is the hope of the dawn and the light of the tunnel. Yes He is my God, my help, my comforter in times of need...

Looking back, one and half months ago I was in my pit. Pit of despair, pit that i thought i will take a long time to come out of it. I have an obstacle to go through, im looking for a job and i need to find one fast to meet ends needs. I have try all ways and not to be passive about it... but "luck" seems not to be on myside. Those jobs that i wanted always never seems to pass by my way... I was very discourage.. funds are depleting and im into my panick mode. I went into depression, but however i almost wanted to give up but i didnt..

Many times i wanted too.. but i tell myself surely there will be a job for me. Edwin, Meijie & Martin got they job on the spot and i didnt even have any offer coming in. I grin with envyness and i wish God will quicken His favour towards me. I felt forsaken.. abandon.. thrown aside and left to "die" and survive on my own. Felt God must have forsaken me.. i cried.. i whined.. i pleaded with God many nights but nothing seems to work.

But i kept on going.. the waiting part is the most daunting and unbearable, i tithle to God my last pay check, i give offerings beyond the normal giving, just to grab God attention and make His head turn towards me in hope that He may take notice of my giving.

Last two weeks i cant feel God, though service and cell group is good i just somehow feel miles apart from Him. I do a spiritual check and i realise that... my heart is begining to harden and cold.. where is that passion for Him has gone too? I think im overly disappointed with life, and everything around me i wonder will i really get to see the light after the tunnel?

Just as i was really beyond discouragement, i even told Jane if there is a mountain i want to run and hide so tat at least i dont have to look so down and beaten.. haha im so useless all i want to think of is to run and hide away from people and circumstances.Im really at my lowest peak... how much further i can go? Sleepless nite, fund depleting, so stressful ...

Miracles came to me on Friday while i was at home preparing to go out for another so call interview... I recieve a call from this company and so i decided to give a try... Lo and behold when i lest expected, miracles awaits to be unfold. I got the JOB! Yes no joke... its not a prank .. i got a job and when it came so suddenly.. i almost cant breathe.... Finally i thought to myself God has finally set His eyes on me! He finally set His miracles for me.. just for ME! All in all the job was a jump for me to another level. An executive position that enable me to travel with SEA region. It was like a dream coming true :) I have always wanted to do regional role as a HR person and it will be a good opportunity for growth.

Coming to think of it, i realise that life is really so unpredictable, yesterday was feeling like in the pit of hell looking for an exit, the next moment before you know it you are on your way to heaven. God comes in when i least expected it and each day is like a brand new day awaiting for new things new miracles to be unfold. Never say never in life thats for sure in life and life itself is never guaranteed.

Attitude Of Gratitude

During the last two weeks which when im at my lowest moment point of my life, i thought that it my life is going to be it.. hopless.. aimless.. and i felt God miles away from me really. But my cell members came in as God's hand and love at my lowest moments... they extended their concern for me and they are always so believing when my faith seems low...

So i wish to thank the following angels that have come by my way to encourage me and see me thru...

Thow Wee: You always amazes me :) really, you are so encouraging when i cant find my way.. and yet week in week out your smses.. call and prayer are so uplifting. During this time, you have been a great help :) though you may not think you have done alot but i think you have done whatever you could to help me. Thanks friend... looks like we are going up the valley again and this journey with you have been exciting..

Laurel: Remember the lunch you bought me the other day on Prem's birthday? We spoke much and you understand much :) Until now... my stomach is still craving for the chicken pepper steak. Anymore treat from you? haha... Thanks, it really warms my heart. And i know you have share my joy too :)

Ah Beng: Ah Beng ah beng... thanks for your wonderful idea of setting up the stall outside expo hall ... haha.. too bad i dont need liao nor i need to call for .." Tissue paper... tissue paper.. i want to call call call call... the tissue paper." hehehe... thanks ah beng for being so funi at times.. Thanks for your support too :)

Sharon: What can i say about you.. :) haha.. im beyond words. We seems to have the same kind of thinking at times and our friendship are rather unique. Thanks for your concern and love over all these years.. i do get to see the lighter side of you now.. hehee.. Thanks for your card and indeed all things will work out good to those who love God. May you find your career break thru soon.. believing with you :)

Sabrina: Hey sleeping pill.. i thank God for you too. I guess you do understand how i feel and thanks for the time u stood there listening.. You are such a blessing to have as a friend... Remember that Sunday you pass me an envolpe i was so touched by the love gift you give.. though it may not be millions.. haha.. but i do feel the love you have for me :) Thanks for standing by me.

Edwin: Hey edwin... though you beat me in getting the job first but however... we started work on the same day LOL :) Thanks for the encouragement you have shown and may we thrive on our careers... Lets shine for God in the market places..

Louisa: You have been my support all these while whether outwardly or inwardly. Your inner strength and sensitivity always amazes me. Thanks for being my friend and you have been a great " driver" to me all these while hahaa.. tks so much for all your prayers and love :)

John: I will never forget how 3 of us held hands in Louisa's car and prayed. Your prayers are always so sincere and true and so POWER..haha.. God must have heard you and He quicken my process of my job hunt.. Now i have another task for you..please help me pray for my 'man hunt' haha ..

Ling Siang: As i have said before you are one of the best leader anyone could ever have, thanks for being there and standing by believing with me :)

Chau Chau: Superman.. though your show is not so SUPER.. but i still think you are superb :) thanks for praying for me with siang in church that week for my job... Er.. i promise.. i will still continue to cause you to be long suffering.. haha..

Na Na: Dont know if you got a chance to read this blog, if you do, just want to let you know that your sms and calls always comes least expected haha.. hmm... i enjoy your friendship! You so fun to be with! Thanks for your encouragement.

Xiao Mei : I know you have been worried for me thanks for your prayers... and now... haha.. we can go shopping again liao.

Simon: Though we may not talk alot even if we do.. i always like to tease and 'swan' you but hor i remember your msn telling me not to be disheartened when i m feeling low.. and it gave me hope to hope again :)

Jane: Kan tang.. kan tang... thanks for the whining and sighing i hv given you.. haha.. i know u care for me :) thanks for being so positive... and your blog is always so inspiring write more k.

Joyce: You have been a fun person to hang out with.. though we may be in the same boat at that time without a job u still encourage me :) i pray that your job will come soon too.. and its been fun knowing you.. Thanks for the friendship you hv given.

debbie: Just started to know you at first i thought you are a quiet person who doesnt talk much, but hor.. as the days goes by.. im wrong haha.. still water runs deep.. you are indeed one of them :) Hope to get to know you better in time to come..

Shufen: Thanks for your concern too and your support :) Hope to get to know you better.

Too much to write and too many people to thank for :) I guess all friends are God sent. I want to thank my family too especially my ah ma.. she has been my support all these while, and bearing my nonsense at home hahaha.. thanking her that she did not nag at me... hahaaha.. I love you ah ma! Not forgetting my sister, she has been quite concern for me too!

But most of all i want to thank God :) for everything.. for giving me all these friends and family memebers to hold during those stormy moments. Thanks you Jesus... you are indeed my SUPERMAN!

Got to go... till then.. stay tune for more blogs.. and let the other part of my new journey life begins..

(This is a poem I have spent thru the nite to compose for Prem, for his birthday... Hope he will like it)


I Live For Him

Before I know it I was born
into this world full of thorns

Where there is hatred and constant fight
I always fend my life with all my might

Every day when Im awake
decision upon decision I have to make

So many times I done it wrong
and I thought all my future is gone

Life to me seems ableak
and I thought I may not make it

Just as I thought I will drown my sorrows
but you came into my life an give me a tomorrow

Your light seems to came into me
to penetrate my inner being

So today as I stand
in the company of many good friends

Through thick and thin
they have been
but nothing beats the strength from within

As today I grow a year older
I pray I will be one year wiser

Now I can say today is really my day
as I will live my life nothing but by God's way

Living in a closet

Who is this little girl living inside my closet?
Why is she trying to hide?

Running away from her past
Hiding this shell behind
Here is that little gal who used to gone astray
When life seems cant let have her way

Past seems like a leech that always stick
But here she is determine to come out it

Talk to an angel friend that day
As that little girl seems to lost her way

That angel asked her to let the leech go
So that the real girl inside her can glow

Hard for this little girl it may seems
But friends cheers kept comimg in
To give her courage that she need

So from now till then
This little girl in the closet is coming out
slowly but surely
with confidence, boldness and with a shout

As break through is on its way
Come on girl
Dont you stray, hold fast to your belief
Dont give up halfway

Cloudy days and stormy nights will soon go away

Sanctuary

When my world was in darkness
You spoke your word
Night turn into day
Your beauty filled this place

When my world stood in silence
You filled my heart with songs that never end
Forever I will Praise

To think that the univese could not withhold your glory
you choose to live in me
Im so amazed

And I worship you Lord
My life in you restored
Here is my heart make it your sanctuary
For nobody else but Jesus only you

You are faithful and true
Glorious Lord all my life its you I adore

You've touched my soul
Completed my world
I surrender to you

And I worship you Lord
My life you restored
Here is my heart make it your sancturay
For nobody else but Jesus only you

Staying Young

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry
about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. (Keep Me! Keep Me! :) The grouches pull you down. (Keep this In
mind if you are one of those grouches.)

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the
brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who
makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM / HER.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire
life, is yourself. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love. Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants,
hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. How about your relationship with God?

8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what
you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country,
but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

My Spiritual Family :)

Blog

Realise that my blog was actually read by some of the close sisters almost daily... haha they told me that they are my 'die hard fans'... so in order not to disappoint them.. i will try to write something everyday whenever i can...

Actually, im not someone who likes to reveal much of my inner thoughts as im afraid i will get vunerable while people will ask me if im okay or not thru my writings. The only thing i show my blogs to closer ones is because as i write... they can also keep a look out for me in my life. I still need friends to be accountable for :) due to busy schedules for most Singaporeans most ppl log on to the computer more than to calling friends... so i guess when they popped by this blog at least we can keep watched over each other's being :P

I used to write journal since young, not sure from where i have learn to cultivate this habit of writing however I find it very theraputic when i jot my thoughts down. Whenever im down and out... whenever im feeling over the moon.. i like to write it down. And once is over and done with i felt as if tons of feelings has been loaded off my chest and i can continue my journey again :)

I was introduce to blog by Louisa and since then my journal diary has been emptied to online. I find it good as its easy to retrieve and i think its away to save the forest trees hahha..

Just wanna to thank all who are sharing this blog with me... thank you for watching over me :)

A fall

Got home today feeling abit sick after going for an interview... was supposed to be in bible class but i didnt make it :(

I took shower and behold... i fell on my back and hurt my head and hip bone... never did i have that kind of fall and the impact was really bad.. i was blackout in my shower room and my auntie heard the noise and she called me.. i heard her voice and i somehow woke up.. my head hurts and my hip bone is so painful..

But thank God, at least im able to stay awake thru out.. My grandma was at my sister's place i give them a call... i was crying ... hahah.. feeling like a baby.. how i wish someone is there to hold me it will ease my pain..

My granny rush back with my sister and my brother in law... they are so kind.. :) i knew im so loved by them. My sis took ice cube to put on my head and rub on my back.. :) hmm.. maybe she should be a nurse instead.. and as she was rubbing my brusies... out of no where suddenly she sing that "Da chang jin" song... wu la la .. wu la la... hahah.. she say she is chang jin number two.. bet she can still joke while im still in pain..

I still finds it funny and i thank God for my family that loves me :)

Waiting on God...

This morning i was a woken up by an sms. It was from a sister whom im close with :) Though im still struggling to wake up, i stayed in bed and reached out for my handphone. It was a real pleasant surprised to see her sms. I always felt very affirmed and encouraged by her messages and concern for me :0)

She was telling me that i was in her mind this morning (its good to be remembered especially in the morning) and how she is bless by the friendship i have given her etc... wow i thought wat a great day to start off with those encouragement.

I remember one thing she said, she said that God maybe wants me to be single for just a while more before my heart finding a home. To me.. haha.. the first thought is what's got to do when u are hitched and ministry. hmm... maybe God knows that i can be more focus and He must have know how i emotionally attached i will be hee... hee...

Its always good to have someone to share ur ups and downs.. guess life will be different when u have found someone. But i do hope that i will not be so man focus even if God give me the man of my dreams.. hahah... my "oil king".. haha..

Like what i say before, life is more meaningful when u reach out and bless others together with my future partner to serve God together :)

Many times i used to think and struggle will such day come? Where all the sisters are talking about weddings.. marriage.. proposal... rings.. houses.. relationship stuff.. at that nite of fellowhsip, it really left me thinking.. what if... what if tat day it didnt come? Will i still hold on? Will i just cruise on life disappointed.. haha.. i pray God will forbide that! I always wanted to have a family.. i want to raise up godly kids.. to learn to put others first and teach them the ways of God. Seriously i pray and hope that the wait will not be so long...

just like wat the bible says in Ps 27: 14

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait I say, on the LORD!

Many times like what the word says.. its the waiting part.. But how many of us here really wait on God's best? Many friends i know got tired and weary while waiting and they end up marrying their "Mr Right" but end up so wrong. I hope i wont come into that end.. Sometimes it seems so impossible but i must keep telling myself i must believe God is the giver of good things. He will come true for me... i dont know how? I dont know when.. maybe its just a step away, a line across or maybe miles apart, maybe in order process.. God knows whats best for us and i know somehow i will get to meet my "oil king" one day :)

Night Out With Er Mei Pie... Where are the Wu Dang Pie?

Its Not Just About Me Anymore..

One of the luxury i have now is to rest and sleep late and wake up later... As im still in my resting mode after the operation, i managed to catch up and talk to some of my friends.

Life is full of many choices we make.. the decision we make today will either break us or make us a better person.

Recently, i was talking with a friend, and catching up with each other's life, she was relating that she actually like someone who is not a christian. I guess its not so easy for someone like her to like a guy. This man must have won her over by the things he do. I can see whenever she talks about him, sparks are in her eyes. But somehow i can understand her concern and her struggles. How many times... its our will Vs God's will, it must be hard for her to feel this way... carrying a torch for a man whom she cant be with.

I can identify with her i have been thru that before. Sometimes it really boils down to giving up our 'Isaac' before God can give us our precious. Life is always a constant struggle, how i wish i dont have to struggle and wrestle so hard. But if God say so no unequal yoke im sure He must have His reasons for everything.

When things happen, we always like to ask God why? And as if we demand an explaination from Him. But come to think of it, God is God why should He give us all the answers for life's questions? We have been spoilt :) always like a little child wanting our own ways.

Have talk to another sister too that nite, im happy for the first time there is such an openess and mutual trust between us. I see her always smiling whenever i see her but behind every smile there is lots of tears to cover up. Life has not been fair to her, its as if all life problems comes in her way and throw at her. For a moment i thought if i can turn into a fairy godmother and wand off all her fears and uncertainties away :) But good thing is she is strong and learning to trust God in every steps she takes. Sure there will be down moments, but it will not be long she will be up again. She has encouraged me to look at life at a brighter side. When u think that u have alot of problems to tackle look at over the other side there will be sure someone who is more problematic than u. But as long as God is there, we will be fine.

Life is not just about me anymore, there are so many needs to be met, hurts to be heal and i just cant sit down and wait for my mircale to happen. I just want to do my part to help whenever i can. Im sure when im putting God's Kingdom first, God will not short change me, He will fullfilled all the desires of my heart.

After hearing so many stories and struggles, i decided i want to move on further with God to another level where He wants to lead me. Somehow i could feel a change in me.. dont know how to explain it but i know changes are for the better.

I will try to help whenever i can and go the extra mile for others. Like how others have helped me to walk on with God. Life is really a journey, through ups and down ... and when i have reached my destination one day, i will hear Him say Well Done My faithful servant!

Coming Home

Home is where the heart is... I finally understood this truth. I have been away from home about 5 days to a place where most of us dread to go - Hospital.

Admission ( 10 May 2006, Wednesday )

10 May 2006 i was admitted to hospital for a minor operation. I felt funny admitting alone as most of the patients around me have their kins around them. I am someone who doesnt like to bother people much... so i ask my grandma to enjoy her Mother's Day Lunch with my uncle 's family while i can admit own my own. Guess i have learn to be self-reliant throughout these years. A gal who has been living independently away from the wings of her parents, will always somehow surivive stronger and tougher :)

Anyway, Joanna, Tau wee, Chris & Hui nan come over to visit me on the first day before the ops. It was so nice of them to keep me company. Tw was afraid that im bored he even bought magzines and food for me.. Their kind gestures really touches me :)

Day 1 of Operation ( 11 May 20o6, Thursday )

Dawn break came, i hardly had a wink wondering how will my operations be.. i was getting a little bit worried how am i going to be like when i am going thru the operations. Before i was wheeled to the operations theatre, i managed to see my mum and my grandma and i waved them 'goodbye'...

I was afraid as i do not know what is expected of me, as i was put onto the opeating bed immediately the nurses and doctors hands are all over me to fix up all the apparatus for the surgery. A mask was pull over my head and i kept hearing them to ask me to breathe harder... before i know it, i was knocked out by the anathestic.

The moment i opened my eyes, i heard someone calling my name. I thought to myself am i dead or alive? A waved of relived washed over me as i know that operation is over and it took quite awhile for me to wake up, doctor told me it was a difficult operation as they have to be skillful enough to remove the blood cyst from both side of my ovaries without cutting them away. Thank God for His divine protection.

I was in my dreamy stage while i was been taken back to my ward.. i can see happy faces of my loved ones around me as my operations took about 6 hours. I ask them to leave as they waited for a long time, though i wish they could stay awhile longer :)

Visitation

Just then about 7 plus Ling Siang and prem came over and to visit me :) I was very happy to see them and we talk for awhile. Follow by that, most of my cell memebers came that nite to visit me... people like Sharon, Sab, laurel, Lousia, ah beng, John, yen chau and xiao xin... and also kim my ex member. Though i was very tired after the ops, i was very thrilled to see them... i tried to stay awake and talk to them. I can feel their concern and love for me im really very happy to be in this part of this family.

Day 2 of Operation ( 13 May 2006, Friday )

Im someone who cannot endure pain, grandma will know i will scream at the slightest pain but surprisingly the pain is quite bearable. On the day two of operation, i have started to get up to walk. I tell myself i must get up if not i will be confine to this bed. I thank God for His protection and healing over me. My family members , shufen, jenny and joanne came and visited me and being a hyper person, i am so thrilled when people came and visit me in this cold, boring hospital.

Day 3 of Operation ( 14 May 2006, Saturday )

Lousia came to visit me around 12 plus and kind of missed my fellowship days with my kakis.. hopefully i can recover fast and be up and going... how i wish i can go and fellowhship with the members today as they are going for bbq at Marina South.. Yen chau, ah beng, sharon, sab and ah teck popped by around 5 plus to visit me... i was over the moon.. i really appreciate all of them coming...

Day 4 of Operation ( 15 May 2006, Sunday )

Finally the long wait, i can go home le. How i missed home and missed my bed.. Never felt happier to be back at my own nest. My sister and brother-in-law came and picked me up and im just so relieved to see the world again :)

Reflections

After staying so many days in the hospital, i came into a conclusion. Your body really matters. Our body is God's temple and i can see how it can affects our life being. We need to have a healthy temple so that we can do the works of God and take care of others. So i must take care of my body from now :)

During these few days of stay, i feel so loved by the people around me. Family members, cell members called, sms and they even came all the way to visit me. They could have not come... but they did. I can feel their love and concern :) i know that im not alone in this walk and we will be there to lift each other's up when one is down. Just want to thank you all people for the visitation, encouragement, and your prayers :) surely you all have make a great difference in my life!

If ain't got you (Alicia Keys)

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power
Yeah some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Chorus:
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Yeah some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love him
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share
With no one who truly cares for me

Chorus:
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah

f I ain't got you with me baby
So nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

Back By Demand

Admit havent been unfaithful posting my blog... And back by popular demand im back. Have been rather busy these weeks too many to write... so many things to update yet so little time.

Today is supposed to be an outing day... looking forward to go treetop walk.. but health fail me. I was feeling sick, so today i stayed at home and hibernate :) hopefully tomorrow i will be able to come back to work roaring...

Work has become a chore, for the first time ever in my work history, i have decided to quit my job without finding one first. This was the 2nd time the whole dept have the mass resignation in less than 2 years. I dread tat kind of feeling going to work since changes took place... too much policting to bear. So the best way is to get out of their internal affairs.

In about 2 weeks time, i will be going to surgery soon. Doctor found out that there is a cyst on the right side of my ovary and operation is needed in for removal. At first when i heard the news i was too shock to response. I thought this kind of thing will not land on me. Friends around me assure me its commonly found in a woman, but i dont want to take any chance of ignoring it. Reality sets in and now i hv come in terms with it. But i know all things will work out good to those who love God.

Thank God for the constant support He has bring into my life. Friends around me just surrounded me with their love. One thing i have found out about God is that He will not allow His children to walk alone :) He is so amazing....

TIC TAC TOE Affair

Went to a tic tac toe orgainise by church. Remembering the nite before it... Sharon and myslf have a discussion if we are going to participate it or not. I kind of regret it to sign up as i tot that friendship will be forge better in a more natural way. It's so irony.. those couples friends of mine they wanted to go but single like us dread this kind of feeling. Guess they will not be able to understand how we must hv felt.

But i went anyhow after much thought. I was the first one to be there and follow by my members. So happy and pleasantly surprise to see S.... Hmm... at first he say he didnt go but he turn up :)

It was a whole day even and we went to mount faber for lunch and play some games on the bus. To my surprised... i was awefully quiet that day. Talk when i needed to and i know that when i told my close friends how quiet i was they laughed with unbelief.. :)

Well being an extrovert most of the time doesnt mean that u cant be withdrawing from the crowds. But it was a good exprience to have when i attended the outing. We also went to fish farm and shopping malls do some projects and heading straight to Sembangwan ship yatch for dinner.

What and awesome sight i thought. A place to chill out with your friends. The sunset was so was mesmerizing and the food is sumptous... Haha.. i thought im more attracted to food then the people around.

Award is given, Chau got Mr charming award... hm... "charming" indeed :) Simon really lift up to his name as he has become Mr Witty...

Nothing much after tat nite, get to know some friends and headed straight to sack after that..

Fellowship OF The Unashamed - Return Of The Saints...

Pastor has another farewell lunch with the pioners with Sun... this time it was with the whole family of them... So happy to see Pastor Kong and Sun and baby Dyan. Happiness is written all over on their faces... i can feel their happiness..

Over the lunch table i was sitting alone... starting was bored... bored and so bored... no one to talk too.. sharon and siang are at the other table, while Huinan and Christopher are at the other side. Im left all alone :( the people i seat with we dont really talk much, just weather talks.

Then we started to play games, and sharon's table got sabo... they went out to the stage and dance the steps of "You turn my mourning into dancing", quite hilarious. Then pastor Kong bought Dyan around our tables and i saw him, our eyes met and we exchange smiles :)

Lunch was served it was sumptous and im still feeling very bored no one to talk too and i tried to act busy by playing with my phone hahaha... then pastor Kong came and he spoke on the stage with Sun. He say he is happy to be here with his family as the first luncheon he cant make it. And he say he is very happy to see some of the pioneers...

Suddenly it took me by surprised that he pointed at my directions and he mentioned my name! He said that he is very happy to see me there... For a moment i thought, heaven split open for me as if God has come down from heaven and called my name :) Its been such a long 17 years and since then I havent been coming up close and personal with pastor. I guess this is a day i felt im never forgotten or out of his mind... Likewise with God, He remembers us and calls us by name. This will be a day i will always remember and it meant alot to me...

Well, after that something happen... people in my table started to talk to me after Pastor mentioned my name... they scope veg and noodlees for me at that table and i feel so...... sigh... they should treat me the same not until Pastor mentioned my name... i really dont know wat to say... after all they are humans.. :)

Anyway, i have a memorable time didnt really bother whether people know me or not... but im just glad to be part of this big spiritual family.