可惜不是你－梁静茹

这一刻　突然觉得好熟悉　
像昨天　今天同时在放映我这句语气　

原来好像你　不就是我们爱过的证据
差一点　骗了自己骗了你　

爱与被爱不一定成正比我知道被疼是一种运气　
但我无法完全交出自己

努力为你改变　却变不了　
预留的伏线以为在你身边　
那也算永远仿佛还是昨天　
可是昨天　已非常遥远但闭上我双眼　
我还看得见

可惜不是你　陪我到最后曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你　牵过我的手还能感受那温柔

那一段　我们曾心贴着心　
我想我更有权力关心你
可能你已走进别人风景　
多希望也有星光的投影

努力为你改变　却变不了　
预留的伏线以为在你身边　
那也算永远仿佛还是昨天　
可是昨天　已非常遥远但闭上我双眼　
我还看得见

可惜不是你　陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你　牵过我的手　 还能感受那温柔

可惜不是你　陪我到最后曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你　牵过我的手还能感受那温柔
感谢那是你 牵过我的手　
还能温暖我胸口

Life Can Be Simpler...

Have not been blogging for months ...Finally managed to settle down in my world of my own on a hot and humid Friday afternoon to blog off where i have landed... guess this is only the 2nd or 3rd entry this year :) You can imagine the amount of work, stress and crazy schedule this year has been for me!!! Work hasnt been any easier, change some bossess and working over time almost everyday. Most of the day, i shuttle between working & school life... exams.. projects... working committment... Wonder when will it end ??? I am in my final lap of my school, 6 more months to go and i can bid all my books, lecturers and exams goodbyes... hehehehe... Cant wait for the day to come!!!!

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Hmmm.... to much to update dont know how and where to start? I remember earlier this year Pastor Kong took time to pray for the pioneers again and this time he really spend a longer time to pray for each of us. I can feel the sincerity of his prayers towards us and he always say that he will always be that Brother Kong whom we used to know. Back then, when he prayed for me ... I feel a strong presence of God... and till now.. this presence still lingered within me. I will never forget this encounter as long as i live. I know He loves me.

Its always me that is constantly running away from Him :) Hmm... maybe i am really the black sheep of the family lol ... but i know my love for Him didnt wavered :) its a long process to heal and face up tough challenges ahead ...

Everyone has a skeleton in the closet, yet I dont know why i always have a feeling that one day i will bump into him in church one day... What if i really see him i really dont know what will i do ... Though the incident that took place has been many years ... the wounds may have heal but the scar is still left evident. With no help.. i walked out struggling alone in my life darkest period... its tough ... you have to act everyday normal like nothing has ever happen. Still putting a brave front to smile and socialised!!! Looking back i really take my hat off myself :) Will i really be able to forgive him? After all the nasty things he has done to me!!! Does he really deserve to be forgiven and granted a second chance???!!! God have mercy on me !!! :)

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Life is such ironic, when you are firm and strong, friends will say you are trying to act tough, but when you are too easy going following the crowd decision people will say i have no backbone decision on my own... so perplex and complicated. Why life cant be simpler? I need a new sets of friends that are positive, encouraging and affirming ... its time for a change.

I need to take a breather go to a place to start over and find a place where no one really knows me :) Perhaps friendship will be better if space is given between us.. may its true.

Many people dont know but I have been doing things on my own.. many people belittle me.. thinking that i cant stand alone being on my own... hahaha... maybe it was last time i was really afraid of being lonely and alone in massive crowds..

BUT things changed ... i have been stronger and doing alot of things on my own... whether to convince them or not its not an issue anymore and i dont really care now. I dont need their approval to tell me what to do. I already have moved on ...

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Finally i have left NAFA, yesterday was my last day. I was there for almost 2 years and somethings just dont changed. I was the earliest to work and the last to leave even to my last day. Was supper bz for the last few days trying to clear as much work as possible ... and i even missed Asia Conference :( Boy!!! Im so beat...

Never thought i will leave the place so fast :( i enjoyed my peers and make alot of good friends :) I was blown away when everyone wanted to buy me lunch for my departure and all my lunches with them was never boring :) I thank God for all of them and i know our friendship will still contiune even though we dont see each other everyday now... Leaving NAFA makes me more unbearable but when the time is up to leave the party.. you just have to go, and i am glad i did and i will be embarking a new pharse of this exciting journey.. whether make it or break it it will be an experience to withhold :)

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Recently a friend of mine came to me telling me she is in love and i was really happy for her. But what took a twist is she is in love with a married man with the same company. I was not taken aback but what shocked me was i know this man too when she showed me his pic...

Well.. one thing led to another, this friend of mine told me that another ex-colleauge of ours has taken fancy on her... My goodness... when she told me who was he... i almost fell off my chair!!!!!

Earlier this year i have just attended his wedding and yet .... He has always been our role model for marriage, a very Mr nice guy ... very cordial and helpful.. we are all saying that whoever marries him is a bliss... but i didnt expect him to turn his heart so fast!!!!

He was telling my friend that his wife is an ex-divorcee and due to her ex-hubby abussive manner she left him. And then she married my friend. Less than 3 months i was told by my gf that his wife is very abussive in words, and many often shouted at him and say words to hurt and bring my friend down!!!!

No wonder good man will stray if there is such a wife... hahaha... while attending their wedding few months ago.. i could see the bride is very outspoken compare to my colleague... Well, i just wish him good luck!!!

What can i say? The man i never thought off wander and strayed off... !!!! If he can stray... then what about others??? Oh my goodness where is the essence of marriage nowsadays??? I really dont know ... i am just shocked... i seems cant come in terms with what i have heard... i need to throw out my feelings... thats why i chose here...

I know in the 'realm of love' there is no right or wrong. Is really timing issue, you may have met your man of your dreams but he is belonging to someone else. The partner you are sleeping beside now may not always be the one you always love and wanted. Human are such a complicated animal! I am not a saint either but that doesnt mean i agree with my friend relationship but what i feel is i wont judge her base on her actions. I understand how antagnoising it must have felt to have a man yet cant hold.. priority is always given to his kids and family.. then her turn...

I think i am a generous person with friends.. but i wont want to share my spouse with another ... haiz... woman.. oh woman!!!! lol ... my dear frend J jokingly once told me.. if her hubby will to do something unfaithful to her.. she will cut off his ... ouch!!!! and threw it out of the window.. hahaha... hmmm....

Well happiness can be simple yet so complicated :) You just have to look forward and move ahead... Next stop ... next destination ... Happiness... I wish all well :)

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My dear sis is going to be in labour in 2 months time !!!!! Woohooo... i am so happy to be promoted to be an auntie soon :) cant wait to hold this little babe in my arms hehehe... its a tough pregancy for her after losing 3 before my dear chloe came forth. God thank you. You must have heard me and saw my giving and prayers :) Meanwhile ... i will anticipate this earthling to be birthforth. Thank God :)

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Okay... enough of throwing up... hahaha... i will be embarking a new role in a new job and i will looking forward to it... Meanwhile.. let me enjoy my Tim Sum time and Sex & City 2 with my dear friend Mrs Young... hahahaha... i shall looked forward for tomorrow... so glad to have her back ... welcome back my dear friend :)

Nite peeps... ZZzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzz

Peace out...

Sung by : 辛曉琪~ 味道


今天晚上的星星很少
不知道它們跑哪處了
赤裸裸的天空星星多寂寥

我以為傷心可以很少
我以為我能過得很好
誰知道一想你思念苦無藥

無處可逃

想念你的笑想念你的外套
想念你白色襪子和你身上的味道
我想念你的吻和手指淡淡煙草味道
記憶中曾被愛的味道

今天晚上的心事很少
不知道這樣算好不好
赤裸裸的寂寞朝著心頭繞

無處可逃

想念你的笑想念你的外套
想念你白色襪子和你身上的味道
我想念你的吻和手指淡淡煙草味道
記憶中曾被愛的味道

What a year...

Things started to change when people have different agenda in life. I begin to ponder how come people tend to let go of things in life so lightly? Or was it me who take things seriously? I really wonder...

Looking back, 2008 was a better year than 2009. In 2008, sure there are challenges, but we stand together as one.. but when changes comes in.. couples are paired up one by one, babies are born things started to change... For once, now i realise what Dr Edwin Louis Cole said is true; One thing in life that is constant is CHANGE.

For once i feel a sense of 'lost' like a soul without a home, i am sure many of us felt this way. Its a bitter sweet feeling. I really dont know this kind of feeling seems to be so uncertain. Dont know what is going to happen next. Like what Jane mentioned on her blog... is just like God calling Abraham to step out of to the unknown. What a year to end with. But i will still walk on with HIM, despite of how i feel.

Our love for HIM should be constant :) despite the temperature of our heart. Coming a long way, sometimes i really wish to throw in the towel and leave... Yes many has left and yet to return. But for me, i will stay on because of HIM my heart has found a home no matter where HE will leads me...

I want to end this year and begin 2o10 with a positive note, pray God will bring in more quality friends. Not friends that will put you down with hurtful remarks, not friends that can only share when good times come and run when back times are around. I pray that i will have a better job, a fairer boss :) Not forgetting to clear all my exams this year :) and be able to travel to Austrialia to find my good old friend... Mrs Young... hahaha.. I guess 2010 will be exciting cos i will be more independent doing things on my own ...

I shall end this year with a positive note. Negativity drains people down. I chose not to be discourage by people's opinion. I will move on with my life... its a race that i have to run... being in a big church with a Great God i am sure there is so much more we can do. What God will not do for us? He has given us His Son :)

I really look forward with much anticipation for a better 2010 :)

My New Hobby

Today i am going to share with you my new hobby... hahaha... yes from what you see i am in arcade at bugis.. This is my no. 10 temp staff Sherman Sun our "xiao lee zhi"...He sees us being us so stress up.. decided to bring us there. He is the one who taught us how to play this kiddie game.. Never expect i will enter in cos to me this is so kiddie.. me going to arcade?? is like learning how to do rock climbing.. hahaha..



Please catch Sherman in action... ask him to work not so serious.. but mind you.. when comes to play.. he is champion... Just look at the way he concertrate to play this game.. never see him so serious before.. hahah...



This is what he wanted to catch today... lets see... how much poky he can manage to capture...



Just take a look on that lady on my right ... hahaha... we are so happy!!!!! For less than 3 dollar.. we manage to catch 1o boxes of poky!!!!! Well done Sherman... *clap*clap*clap*

Just take a look at our smirky face!!!! hehehehe... Everyone in the arcade grined with jealousy...hahaha i mean...for memory sake.. i decided to take a picture of this.. feel so malu...

The incredible 3 .... V12, V10 & V8 ... Vrroomm.....

Back to office... just take a look of what we have gotten during this 2 weeks... toys.. toys and more toys.... hahahaha... thanks to Sherman... any taker anyone??? hahaha... Hope to be back for more... :)

The end :)

Dream of him today... woke up and i realise that i am only dreaming... it seems so real... anyway he is gone for good.. wish him well ... will miss you .. Mr pepperoni... :) hahaha... i speak in parables only my "aussie" dudette will know who im talking too.... hahaha...

With or Without you...

The road is long... but we will make it someday :)

Joyce.... if you ever see this... this is for you.. hahaha... Miss having you around :)

I Love you but why are we so different???

Discovering Our Love Seasons..

Seems like some of us are in the seasons of discovering ourselves.. Sometimes when love lurks at the door of our heart we seems unknowingly let it comes in. Some love came and stay for a while and left, sometimes love came it and dwell for a long time..


Whether it comes or stays over a long period of time, the end result of love coming into our hearts, we eventually are hopping tat it will blossom and bear fruit. But it seems not to be so for some of us. The barreness of our soul seems not to be bearing any product of love.


Hmmm... one love is one sided.. carrying a touch for some years yet he doesnt know? But if he knows how will he react? Perhaps he is not ready to embark into another level of friendship with her.. So she waited patiently.. hoping that he will turn his head towards her.. a fairy tale with no ending? For this im sure she has already moved on slowly but surely..


Another love is complicated... The pursuer is pursuing the pursuee.. the pursuee relantlantly open up her hear and let him in. After sometime ... due to some unforseen circumstances they tend to drift further and further...


Yet another heart is broken as many has come in and swept her heart unknowingly, after sometime it left her standing alone among crowds.. Where have all the good man gone? Burried 6 feet underground? Married? or becoming a broke back? :) that will be still a mystery yet untold...


Nothing is further away from the truth, all these are the cries of some lonely souls. What they are asking for is just to be loved and to love. A simple request from within and why it is so hard to find someone out there? Even if think we may have found the right one.. Where have the sparks gone after sometime? Love between two souls are so difficult to comprehen? People at the upper hand loves to play guessing games, sometimes we hide they seek.. other times we seek they hide... its so frustrating :)

When love comes unknowingly, it seems to be so inviting.. defences are off guard and before u know it feelings are developed. But there is a sense of uncertainity... no one moves unless he or she moves ... wat a complicated relations we are in in today's world!

As there is a saying...it takes a moment to fall in love with someone, but to forget it takes a life time.


Will we be able to forget our old feelings we have fetch and progress on what is given and move on to our new found love when it comes? Life is so full of ups and downs... uncertainities all around. Life in life itself is a mystery, you wont know who you will meet tomorrow and what happen next... When will our paths cross his.. if our crossed has passed.. will we be able to know if he is the one?

Sometimes i feel him near, sometimes i do believe there is someone out there waiting for me, its not a drama that i have seen on the tv. But i do believe, one day i will meet him. When the right one comes, i will be able to know..

Meanwhile to all my girlfriends who are reading my blog.. to those who are heart broken, do not despair, u will grow strong emotionally.. trust me, time is the best healer... i mean beside God Himself.

To my friends who are married.. please stay connected heheheh..

To my friend who is in far far away land... u always hv a place in my heart.. we will meet again!

And to the rest who is still searching for Prince Charming.. including myself.. haha.. im sure the best is yet to be revealed!

Tomorrow is a gift, lets unwrap it with anticipation!

Kept thinking should l go to bible study last nite, i was contemplating ... then Jane came and give me a "push"... unreluctantly i gave in.. the rest is history..

This song was birth forth when i was in service last nite with Songs of Solomon bible study with Pastor Kong. Never felt this way for a very long time. Just when i feel my heart is dry.. His Love came watering in. Pastor said something and i still kept in my heart. He mentioned that there will always always be a point of our lives when God calls us to decide will we love Him more despite of all these we have.

Decisions we make have an impact of our future. I kept running from Him, He kept pursuing me with His stuborn love. Who are we really that He is so mindful of? I guess it all boils down to the first love that we have for Him. I remembered my first love. It was almost like heaven on earth. The joy that flows from within is so unexplainable. Oh.. how i missed my first love... sooner or later again i know He will ask me the same question.. despite of it all .. will i still be in love with my King...

Yes i love Him, maybe not as fervent as before. But i do love Him still. Wrote a song for Him, i wanted the world to see... He is my lover of my soul after all..

Title : Linger
Wrtitten By : Christine Lee

I want to linger in
Into your your courts my King
Bring me to your chamber
I want to stay within

Take me to where You are
Draw me near to you when I'm far
Closer each day i came near

For you are always the one I love
For you are always the one I love

Chorus:

I will linger I will stay
in your presence day by day
till I am found in your embrace

This love you gave so true
No one can love me like you do
My heart my soul belongs to you

You are the fairest among all
Your love for me stands tall
When everything fades
your love remains

You have capture my heart
let nothing do us apart
This love so pure found by none other
But you

I will follow you
I will follow you

Chorus:
I will linger I will stay
in your presence day by day
till I am found in your embrace

This love you gave so true
No one can love me like you do
My heart my soul belongs to you

Just a simple song, but i with humility i wrote. I know its not the best that is ever heard, someday i will write a better one so that the world will know thru me His love for us will be heard :)

Life is a journey.. let it begin..

Today went to service with a heavy heart... dont know why.. drag my feet to church... after svc was with Jane queueing to pay a book at the attributes... then she saw her friend.. so being a polite me i walk away to hunt some books and try not to disturb their little conversation.. after a while i came back, jane told me that her friend thought that i was her cell grp leader!!!!!! hahaha... when i heard the remark... i was so humbled.. .... hahah... i tot jane should look like my leader instead!!! hahah..

Long forgotten the passion.. long forgotten the calling.. long forgotten it until it rings today.. i dont know la so many issues to deal with.. not really want to think of it. My own needs are not met how to meet others ppl needs? Just frustrated ... dont really know how long i am able to hold on? My rope is slippery... filled with grease... trying to hold on as long as i can.

I really wish to go away.. help..

平常心 - 張惠妹

街道靜得刺耳　夜被路燈染色
趁感傷醒來前　先上車　不會不捨
承認我是弱者　不敢再對愛假設
我真的累得　不想再拉扯

＊我尋找的平靜　是我將來看電影　
帶著一顆平常心　不必為誰心碎閉上眼睛
我需要的平靜　是敢回頭看曾經　
那些為愛患得患失的情景
我選擇忘記＊

我不懂得取捨　才讓心痛堆著
找得到前些年　的快樂　
只是偶爾 回憶是個誘餌　
是來叫我回去的要傷能癒合　我非走不可

Its been a year since he left.. coming to think of it is the exact day. Got contact with him still via messenger, heard that he is residing in KL now. Hope he is doing well there and i guess here it ends this chapter of my life ..