A Not So Dinner...

Many people look forward to CNY, a time of joyous occassion where all relatives and friends gather for reunion. But not for me... since young i have never like CNY, infact i always dread for the day to come... Its just only my school of thoughts.. i find it to be superfical, why do we have to get reunion only for this day to come? I thought as and when we should contact each other? Anyway.. thats besides the point lah..

This year, i went back to see my parents. It has been quite a while since i have been home, i missed my parents, especially my father. I guess my dad and i have very much in common, we are someone that can make others laugh and yet at times... we tend to hide ourselves in one little corner of our hearts... haha... maybe say it ' Like father, like daughter'. Though since young i do not have the luxury of having a parent to parent, but i thank God for the restoration He has made throughout these years. I have always wanted my parents to see me thru childhood, take care of me while im sick, sending me to school, cook for me etc.. i guess all these are not done with.. But now, what it matters most is to look forward to the future.

I went home on CNY Eve, and i saw my dad, realised that he has aged alot since then. Guess life's toil has really get hold of him.. Hate to see him in this manner, i know my dad has kept alot emotional bagage in his heart, how i wish i can help. All i can do is to just stay beside him and though not much things is said to me on that nite, but i know that we are connected.. Sometimes things are not said but felt. I thank God for giving me a sensitive heart :)

This year CNY reunion dinner was not a really happy one for me. I reached home about 7pm at nite and when i got home, my mum told me tat they have eaten bcos they are hungry. I was more disappointed then to feel angry.. They could have waited for me awhile longer.. but they didnt. The feeling i felt is beyond words, its just like coming home with much anticipation and joy thinking that we will have a good dinner just like how it has been for the last few years but i was left heart broken.

On the surface i didnt show but only God knows how sad i have been that nite. Over the table, only me and my sister and my brother-in-law was there. Out of the sadness, i took my dinner. At the dinner table, i manage to talk to my brother-in-law, he is a man tat will mean what he say and say what he mean. And i thank God that my sister has found a man that will take care of her and i know that she is in good hands. Out of the dinner conversation, i manage to share abit about God to him, he being a catholic it was much easier to share the gospel with him. He doesnt goes church now, but he believes in God. I think i will get him a bible to read.. at least.. he can still be connected to God :) Though the dinner doesnt turns out the way i planned or wanted but at least out of it, i get to know my brother-in-law abit more.

After dinner, we left. And i went to meet my spiritual family for movie :) They are the ones that always give me a lift when im down, and what a better place can i be to stick around them? This chau chau ask me what happen why i look disturbed haha... but i just brushed it aside with a smile.. At that moment i thought to myself, i better behave 'normal' if not they are going to ask me more questions haha..

Something i tot is funny that nite.. me and lousia wanted to go toilet.. she told me it was dark outside the toilet and i boldly say, dont scare im here.. then we walk to the toilet.. oh mine.. it was really dark and scary inside.. less than one minute we walked out the toilet... but my bladder is full... i needed to release hahah.. thank God, just then, a grp of ladies just went in and we followed in.. hahah.. i tot is funny.. we are called the light of the world and yet still can be afraid of the dark.. haha... guess there is always a little girl inside us.. wanted to be protected..

Movie 'I not stupid' ws good. The power of affirmation is always useful to boost up someone's life.. like wat the bible says.. 'death and life is in the power of tongue'

Got the privilege to be sent home again by lousia this dear sister who always sent me home :) as usual we park on my house downstairs the same spot and we talked for awhile before..
Im grateful to God, for everything he has done. And indeed by being with them life is more colourful. Thanks to you all friends...