Tuesday, January 31, 2006

A night to remember

I went movie last nite with my friends and i have fun then. Stay up till almost one and i reached home tired but happy. Was supposed to meet him today but i was tied up with my agenda. After home, rested awhile and he came over to pick me up and we meet up at 2.30am.

Though he is not a very good looking man on the outside but i thought what i like on the inside.
He is a man of high EQ.. haha at least i have found my match. And i feel connected with him. We went to the beach, enjoying the breeze and looked at stars... it been such a long while i feel this way. Guess our feeling towards each other are mutual. Time passes so fast, we enjoyed each other company and shared alot of things in our lives. We stay through out the nite till 5 am in the morning. During the drive home i fell asleep, guess was too tired after too much outings.. when i woke up, he is still driving... Our eyes met and there silence stood still. Though we didnt say alot of things on the way home, we understood each other feelings by just sitting next to each other.

Frankly speaking, after so long, i do really feel like a woman being love and taken care of. I was pampered under his wings. The feeling is overwheelming, but i thought to myself, is this God's best for me? Seriously i dont know... coming in terms with my emotions.. i really got to let God come in and managed. I cant afford to make any more silly mistakes or take any more blow. Thats why im prepared to give up .. He is different from me.. the sets of values we live by the morale issues.. etc..

God knows how weak i am, and im trying hard to hang on to Him. Affairs of the heart are so taxing and complicated at times, especially for a woman who can be so vunerable under the mercy of the other party.

I may not be like my friend who has many spoil of choices of man to be with.. and infact sometimes i wish i can be like her.. no worries.. man just come to sweep her heart away and do things for her etc..

but ... I do pray and hope God that God will give our heart a home soon. The future is so uncertain and its full of twist and turns... We need Him to direct our paths as we plan our steps...
Chinese New Year

Went to auncle house for first day of new year, didnt really do alot of things... I realised that when i reached there i was happy to see all my relatives. Its been since 2 yrs i went there. And every New Year i always find a form of escape to make my way out not to go... maybe just to escape those silly questions that they love to pose to me.

haha.. but this year not so bad, they dont ask me that much.. good hope it stays the way forever.. i dont like to be question.. i seek independence from self and i don like to be tied down by the normal rules and regulations of what the world call the norm. Like gals should get married, have kids... etc... haha..

Though.. the thought of urge to merge seems close but i have to know what i really want in a man. I realise that all my cousins have grown up too... and i cant help to admit that age is catching up... :) but is okay lah... anyway im always young at heart..

Monday, January 30, 2006

A Not So Dinner...

Many people look forward to CNY, a time of joyous occassion where all relatives and friends gather for reunion. But not for me... since young i have never like CNY, infact i always dread for the day to come... Its just only my school of thoughts.. i find it to be superfical, why do we have to get reunion only for this day to come? I thought as and when we should contact each other? Anyway.. thats besides the point lah..

This year, i went back to see my parents. It has been quite a while since i have been home, i missed my parents, especially my father. I guess my dad and i have very much in common, we are someone that can make others laugh and yet at times... we tend to hide ourselves in one little corner of our hearts... haha... maybe say it ' Like father, like daughter'. Though since young i do not have the luxury of having a parent to parent, but i thank God for the restoration He has made throughout these years. I have always wanted my parents to see me thru childhood, take care of me while im sick, sending me to school, cook for me etc.. i guess all these are not done with.. But now, what it matters most is to look forward to the future.

I went home on CNY Eve, and i saw my dad, realised that he has aged alot since then. Guess life's toil has really get hold of him.. Hate to see him in this manner, i know my dad has kept alot emotional bagage in his heart, how i wish i can help. All i can do is to just stay beside him and though not much things is said to me on that nite, but i know that we are connected.. Sometimes things are not said but felt. I thank God for giving me a sensitive heart :)

This year CNY reunion dinner was not a really happy one for me. I reached home about 7pm at nite and when i got home, my mum told me tat they have eaten bcos they are hungry. I was more disappointed then to feel angry.. They could have waited for me awhile longer.. but they didnt. The feeling i felt is beyond words, its just like coming home with much anticipation and joy thinking that we will have a good dinner just like how it has been for the last few years but i was left heart broken.

On the surface i didnt show but only God knows how sad i have been that nite. Over the table, only me and my sister and my brother-in-law was there. Out of the sadness, i took my dinner. At the dinner table, i manage to talk to my brother-in-law, he is a man tat will mean what he say and say what he mean. And i thank God that my sister has found a man that will take care of her and i know that she is in good hands. Out of the dinner conversation, i manage to share abit about God to him, he being a catholic it was much easier to share the gospel with him. He doesnt goes church now, but he believes in God. I think i will get him a bible to read.. at least.. he can still be connected to God :) Though the dinner doesnt turns out the way i planned or wanted but at least out of it, i get to know my brother-in-law abit more.

After dinner, we left. And i went to meet my spiritual family for movie :) They are the ones that always give me a lift when im down, and what a better place can i be to stick around them? This chau chau ask me what happen why i look disturbed haha... but i just brushed it aside with a smile.. At that moment i thought to myself, i better behave 'normal' if not they are going to ask me more questions haha..

Something i tot is funny that nite.. me and lousia wanted to go toilet.. she told me it was dark outside the toilet and i boldly say, dont scare im here.. then we walk to the toilet.. oh mine.. it was really dark and scary inside.. less than one minute we walked out the toilet... but my bladder is full... i needed to release hahah.. thank God, just then, a grp of ladies just went in and we followed in.. hahah.. i tot is funny.. we are called the light of the world and yet still can be afraid of the dark.. haha... guess there is always a little girl inside us.. wanted to be protected..

Movie 'I not stupid' ws good. The power of affirmation is always useful to boost up someone's life.. like wat the bible says.. 'death and life is in the power of tongue'

Got the privilege to be sent home again by lousia this dear sister who always sent me home :) as usual we park on my house downstairs the same spot and we talked for awhile before..
Im grateful to God, for everything he has done. And indeed by being with them life is more colourful. Thanks to you all friends...








Sunday, January 29, 2006

For Better For Worst ... I Do


It was an eventful day for most of us to remember ... a nite whr birthday is celebrated and proposal is done.. This blog is dedicated to one of my very close friend Sab :)

Looking back, how we started to know each other. From stranger and then become friend.. and then we become best of friends... I know that life can be hard and unfair at times... but im so glad that gal, you have press on to stay faithful...

Remembering the nite, when it was ur birthday, and then came into the proposal when edwin kneel down and 'begging' u to say Yes... At that time i couldnt help but to feel.. Yes this is ur moment.. this is ur man that u are going to marry and walk the aisle in the red carpet.. just want to let her know i share your joy to witness this wonderful occassion.. I guess u must be the happiest woman.. feel that u are over the moon... finally.. your heart has found a home. Im so happy for u.

And may you have many happy years ahead and things are really going to get brighter and bettter for you... With this blog i dedicate my love and blessings to you pal... and knowing that you are not alone though we may not be from the same cell anymore.. im still your friend and we will see each other grow up more in God, getting married and have kids...

You never walk alone...

From Me to You,

Chris




Friday, January 27, 2006

From Me To You

I have come across this song lyrics... i thought it really reflects of my walk with God.. I believe some of us who has been with God on this long journey faced fearless battles.. And these song is dedicated just for you. Remember we are God's warrior child.


Warrior Is A Child

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies that lay me at His feet
I drop my sword and look up for His smile

Because deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
The Warrior is a Child

By Twila Paris

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

An Interview With Saint Jane

Last week... Pastor Kong mentioned over the plupit wanted to have a lunch for the Chinese New Year with those Memebers who is still in church during pre-holloywood time..When i heard that i was over the moon... haha.. bcos i can get to see all my long lost friends. As the church goes bigger... i find harder to look for those people who used to be around at that time...

Jane, infact is so sweet of her... she wanted to do an exclusive interview with me ... haha... for the first time, i felt that im in a celebrity in the making... :) It was being blog down in her blog and im so touched by the gesture she make...

Here are the question and answers...

My interview with an Ekklessia member

Finally oh finally, i have found the one... one that who has been in CHC since the beginning... one who knew Pst Kong first as Bro. Kong... one who witnessed the revival & growth of the church... one who goes wherever the church went when there was still no building... one who was faithful all these years...
She is none other than my own CG member, Christine. I feel so happy because i have always been curious and keen to talk to someone who has always been there since the beginning of CHC era
(1).. So without further or do, here's how the interview went.

Jane : How old were you when you first went to CHC?

Christine : 1989 end Jul, in secondary one I came to church. Jane : So..who brought you to church? Christine: At that point of time… I was at one of the lowest peak of my life… at parkway HeShe Store outside I cry out to God, He heard my cry and He sent people(namely then Pst. Ting, and Pst Karen) to witness to me.

Jane: Wow.. so.what made you stay in CHC for so long?

Christine: Sometimes I wonder what makes me stay too.. haha.. I guess the journey wasn’t easy for me.. As Christians we often go thru challenges and testings ahead. Yes, many times when life storms hit us.. too often I wanted to throw in the towel and quit believing in Him.. What I should say then? What makes me stay I think its God’s unfailing love and presence that I have found in here..

Jane : What are some of the things we did then but you don’t see us doing it now? (Name 3)

Christine : In church last time we used to wear veil… acted like a spiritual covering and as an act of submission. · During cell group worship time in 41A at Marine Parade, we used to off all the lights, leaving only the OHP lights. But now u don’t see it now. · We used to have “fun night” at the end of every year, its just like thanksgiving. It was fun as there are dramas and small play.. Award was given to some members too.

Jane: Who is the one person who you can say impact you the most?

Christine: There are too many people who has impacted me, but I guess, its Pastor Kong, (at that time… we used to call him brother Kong J ) . He is always on the ball for Jesus.. Seeing him serving God with all he has really inspires me.. of course not forgetting all the wonderful leaders that have helped me to grow in Him.

Jane: Tell me what message that impacted you the most?

Christine: Too many… all of the messages are so impactful ..

Jane: 18 years you have been in CHC, what do you see yourself in another 18 years?

Christine: It should be 17 years lah.. im in church since 1989. Well, I see myself being passionate with God more… and of course .. I want to live out my life to do His purpose… Settling down.. marrying a godly man.. have kids.. bring them to children’s church… and reaching out to bless others.. Despite of so many things that has happen through out these long 17 years.. All the high mountains and deep valleys.. God is faithful.. He ever ready to act on our behalf when we call upon Him… And.. I may not know what my future will be like… But I know who holds my future J.. Let us give our unknown future to a known God Amen!

After my interview with Christine, couldn't help but to feel what a faithful person she is, holding on to God despite having difficult periods of her life. Christine, know it is not an easy 17 year of walk...just wanna say that i am so proud of you and i pray that you continue to walk with God for the rest of your life. Many choose to give up but you choosed the good thing of trusting God. You inspire me... i am sure many will read this and choose to stay with God no matter what happens in their lives. Praise God!!
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God is good. All the time... May we have many good years ahead of us...

Just Me,
Chris

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Finally Opened Up

Besides the Hong Kong trip that I will be writing much later… I guess I got to write a blog about how I feel …

I don know how to start writing… so many wonderful things has been happening recently so far.

Simon : Yes.. Simon.. im so amazed by the changes I see in him… slowly but surely God is changing him.. Recalling how the first time I saw him.. to me at that point of time I thought this man is really an ice berg, I find it really hard to talk to him…. And whats worse … I dreamt of him and yen together teasing me how fat and etc… hahah thank God its just only a dream.. infact, I was quite affected by it and there is a period of time im scare of talking to him… reason being.. im so afraid or rejection … ya.. rejection… a sense of feeling of being cast aside. But I thought to myself, I wanted to get to know him better as a friend.. therefore I took the first step out by allowing myself to be open despite I might be opening up to more wounds of rejections…

God is good… I guess.. things have improved.. and the longer I fellowship with this dear brother.. I realize tat he can be fun loving too.. All along in my heart I wanted to know his life story… ( ok ok call me KPO hahaha.. )so everytime when I hv the chance I will provoke him to tell but I didn’t succeed. Haha.. I think God answered my prayer finally… last Sunday was one of the best quality fellowship I hv spent with simon, yen, lousia, sab and not forgetting alan. I know at tat time when simon started to share his past experiences with us… it was not really an easy thing.. being a man.. and went thru so much for the past 12 yrs.. it must be hard on this brother. I can understand how is it like to be with someone for so long and then just… left. Im sure the scars that she left was a deep one and it impacted him so much.

Life is such as I always say, it always got its turns.. and I remember we cant go any lower than that when we are facing trials of testing in life… God must have a plan for him, if things doesn’t happen to be in that way… He will not come to know God and be this part of this spiritual family. God is so good to us.. He always come to us on time when we call upon him.

To me, he is opening up, and is really a big step, that is the highlight of my day .. im so thrilled by the changes that come on him. God is soooo good… and wats more on that nite alan gave his heart to Jesus.. Life has indeed become more beautiful when u know who God is..
Will write again… tonite is Simon’s nite topic… so more will be up ..

Just me.
Chris