如果你也听说
突然发现站了好久 不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我 再多人陪只会更寂寞

许多话题关于我 就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可 委屈却没有人诉说

夜把心洋葱般剥落 拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候想你更多

如果你也听说 有没有想过
我像普通旧朋友 还是你依然会心疼我
好多好多的话想对你说 悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么负荷 舍不得 又无可奈何

如果你也听说 会不会相信我
对流言会附和 还是你知道我还是我
跌跌撞撞才明白了许 多等我的人就你一个
想到你想起我 胸口依旧（然）温热＊

My Sercet Place

I tend to ponder and think alot lately. Many things came into my mind this week. Talk to God after so much of bottling up poured out my heart to Him. Cried buckets at His presence until i am found by Him that nite.

After that encounter i had on that Friday, i know i begin to see things in a different perception. People grow weary, exhuasted, defeated through life challenges, who doesnt? Well i do feel the same way too especially with each different sets of life testings that have come along my way. Its like an never ending road how often it leads me to heart breaks and uncertainity.

Talk about fatigue? Who is not? Talk about hopelessness??? Who hasnt been through? Many times! i have been there :) Failures, defeats seems to be my constant companion!

Wonder why am still in His presence till today??? i am in awe with myself as well :) ... I guess the goodness of God lead ones into repentance. Day in day out His mercy never cease to wash over me. I could have thrown in the towel like what others did and go back to my portgal ways... i could have been ... but i did not. Not because i cannot or dare not... But i chose not too.

But yet i know i will still face all these giants. Giants of lack, giants of faithlessness, giants of insecurities etc... all these giants that cant wait to gobble me up..

Despite of all i have learn to stay with God... its the safest place where a refugee can dwell in. Others chose to avoid and run away but i just want to hide under His shadow of His mighty wings. A place where i can be at ease with myself and Him...

Human's Will battling against His? Who will win in the end? I hope not mine:) I am letting go, slowly but surely... the pain of losing him seems to fade as time ticks by. Im glad our path has cross and i am grateful that it does stay for awhile though not forever. I will remember him and there will always be a small space in my heart to contain this friend of mine :)

God is good, there is no doubt about it.. though i may not understand His plans. Sometimes it seems like my life is a joke, a laughing stock to others and people tend to lead a better life but i know there is always a better days ahead for me if i dont lose heart and grow weary in doing good.

I can imagine when the day comes, as blessings started to pour and bestow upon me Abba will be smiling down from heaven...after all He gives good gifts to His own :)

Okay folks... i will stop penning... i am going back to my secret place :) Meeting Him there...

HERE IN MY LIFE

I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet
But at Your word Lord
I'll receive Your faith to walk on oceans deep

And i remember how
You found me
In that very same place
All my failing surely would have drowned me
But You made a way

You are my freedom
Jesus You're the reason
I'm kneeling again at Your throne
Where would i be without You
Here in my life
Here in my life

You have said that all the Heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds the
Way to Freedom truth of Jesus
Bought from death into His life

And i remember how
You saw me
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was
Your Beloved for me
Still You made a way