What Love Is This?  Everytime when i hear this.. it makes me remind me of how much God loves me.  Thank you for your love unconditionally towards me.

Just Once.

Well... here is the song and this is how i am feeling now.. Just once.

听说爱情回来过...

He Is Back.

I was at home on Sunday... lazying around surfing on net.  Then i realise he is online!  After for so many years out of sight... manage to see him online today.  We chatted for awhile and I know after all somethings about him are still the same.  I can still remember so much things between us.

We exchange our greetings and via messenger and suddenly he makes me think of him so much.  The things we used to do, the email we used to exchanged, the places we used to go... the place where we used to lay.

My emotional hype is up again... its like an unstoppable wave.. Out of sudden, I have the urge to go KL to find him, to see him, to be in his arms again.. I'm glad he is well and i hope he is even better off there :)  When you love someone, i really wish him to be happy doing what he really wants.  Whether I am beside him or not.  It doesn't really matter anymore.

He is still the same :) and i know he is used to be so independent.  Aww.. i miss him... i miss the time when we are together.. how he cook breakfast for me.. send me home.. how we give each other a few good tease.. i know its never going to come back.  So what if i go over and spend sometime with him?  That will not guarantee anything.  I know it will make parting more difficult.  I hate goodbyes.. its hard to forget someone who used to give you so much to remember for..

Sometimes i wonder is it the person i am really missing or the feeling he gave me?  Marc has been a good lover.  Like most man, he always like to keep things to himself.  Sometimes how i wish i can take away whatever he is thinking with a wave of a wand.

I know i got to hold it together.. i keep telling me to move on and be strong.  Been through hell for the past two years.. nobody knows.  But i kept fighting... i kept holding on.  I tell myself i must not be defeated by circumstances that is so over-whelming.  I need a good sleep.  How i wish if just by sleeping, problems and heartaches will disappear!  I know it wont work this way :S dream on maybe.

I miss him.. I am missing him... wish I could turn back the clock and bring time to a stop.

Walking with Him

Find Me At The Cross

Happen to chance upon this song in FB posting last night.  Somehow tears seems to flow uncontrollably when I heard this.  Used to sing this song in Church during my younger days.  Oh how it brought me back to the place I used to love Him so much.

There is always forgiveness and love in Him I know.  Sometimes when the rut of life gets hold of us, we tend to lost sight of Him.  Out of sight.. Out of mind.  But I know He is always there.. The gentle still small voice still resides in our hearts today.

Like what the song says.. I wanna to walk with Him in my heart.  The walk maybe daunting and seems long and unending.. the road can be bumpy and rough.. but I know its all worth the walk.

Many had lay down their lives and the baton has been passed down to us.  Its up to us to walk a life worthy of our calling. 

God, please give us strength to walk this road call life.  We may get bruise with cuts at times, but let our love for You be ever so strong. 

Keep us oh God as the apple of your eye always and may your grace always abounce towards us.

Love U.
C

Happy New Year!!!!

2012 has finally arrived! Thank God for this new coming year, i have never been so excited or held on with so much anticipation... i just know this year is going to be a HOME RUN for me :)


How nice it is to kick-off this year with a family gathering... i just love my cousins and my family. I always thank God for all the people that have come across in my life.



Life is about builiding relationship and building people. I guess i have learnt to let go with people critisim and offenses.. cos i believe what goes around comes around, its just a matter of time :)

HOPE

I guess what sums up my life in 2011 is this word HOPE. This is what it keeps me hanging by the edge whenever i think i am about to fall over. Hope keeps me going.. keeps me anticipating that no matter how trashy the situation or circumstances we are in, it always keeps me going .. and believe that tomorrow the SUN will shine upon me again..

Winter has been too cold and long for me .. and i know my Spring time is coming.. i can feel it.. i can feel the breeze blowing on my face.. i am able smile and to run across the field and smell those flowers again.. i know God is able.. He is able to aid me to get out of this rut im in..

Its true, what Joyce told me tonight.. if its not for God.. we would have not make it. And we would have collapsed if we havent been held on to HIM. I believe whatever things i have gone through, God has already prepare a way and solutions for me.

2010 / 2011 has been the worst year, and im still paying for my silly mistakes i have made.. but its okay slowing but surely i will get there and i am getting there... God watches over me :)


Just when i thought that i am settling well in this job i have been in for 5 months... another restructing took place. Actually, i feel very disappointed and sad, this is a job that i thought i will be in for a long time. For the first time, i really enjoy what i do and enjoy all my relations with most of my working peers.. just that i thought my life has already "arrived" and set in place... Another adventure awaits me.. i was confused.. i was mad.. i was thinking what have i done to deserved this?

I have been faithful, fruitful in my work and .... But i have come in terms with the reality that i will be leaving this company soon. Everything happens for a reason.. i really dont know what is God's sleeves up too again.. i just got to seek Him out.. those who seek Him will be found by Him.. But i know He is faithful.. i am pretty excited yet afraid.. i really dont know where will i be landing up into this time? He surely has scares me hell alot of time.. but each time my heart got stronger and braver :) I know He is for me..

On the lighter side...

This picture is taken by my ex-colleagues many many years ago.. and somehow it was the "talk of the town" that time... It was re-surfaced to me recently by my ex-colleagues again.. hahaha.. yes.. its Shriek and Princess Fiona.. all my colleagues have been teasing me and Andre that many years ago.. and they took this picture and sent it over to us... so funny... when i look at this picture.. fond memories flooded into my mind.. hahaha... yes i used to like Andre... but he is not my Shriek after all.. hahaha... i believe my Shriek will come this year.. some day ... some how.. hahaha.. and we will be in our ~Far far away land.. someday..

Okay, so much for tonite.. im going to my dreamy land.. before i hit the sack.. i am going to find Him.. I just want to be HAPPY.

In Him I Trust.

GoodBye 2011 & Welcome 2012

I guess the excitement is over :) i suppose everyone is fast asleep in their bed or still out there having supper after 2011 countdown. As for me, i so wide awake. Not sure why, but too excited to sleep. Reflecting 2011, how it was really over and was never coming back! Thank God for a brand new start this year.

I just want to start the new year right. Hmmm... maybe have to set down some resolutions..?? Sound so old school.. everytime never really diligently keeping it.. haha..

But im excited what is in store for me. Now its a time of challenges ahead. A time of trusting God again in my career and my love life. I guess God works through seasons... if i havent gone through such a rough patch for these past 2 yrs, i wont cling on to Him so tight. Sometimes God redirects our anchor back to him, sometimes is just a time of chassening that we have to go through to get our attention back to God. Come what may i know He's thoughts are always good.

I am living out my dreams.. I want to be whr God has call me to be in.. its a time of trusting again.. for everything. I hope God will continue to shape us and mould us. Its always about Father's love He has for us...

Just as the song it sings.. Becos He live, I can face tomorrow.. Becos He live all fears are gone..

In God I Trust :)