Friday, May 28, 2010

Life Can Be Simpler...

Have not been blogging for months ...Finally managed to settle down in my world of my own on a hot and humid Friday afternoon to blog off where i have landed... guess this is only the 2nd or 3rd entry this year :) You can imagine the amount of work, stress and crazy schedule this year has been for me!!! Work hasnt been any easier, change some bossess and working over time almost everyday. Most of the day, i shuttle between working & school life... exams.. projects... working committment... Wonder when will it end ??? I am in my final lap of my school, 6 more months to go and i can bid all my books, lecturers and exams goodbyes... hehehehe... Cant wait for the day to come!!!!
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Hmmm.... to much to update dont know how and where to start? I remember earlier this year Pastor Kong took time to pray for the pioneers again and this time he really spend a longer time to pray for each of us. I can feel the sincerity of his prayers towards us and he always say that he will always be that Brother Kong whom we used to know. Back then, when he prayed for me ... I feel a strong presence of God... and till now.. this presence still lingered within me. I will never forget this encounter as long as i live. I know He loves me.

Its always me that is constantly running away from Him :) Hmm... maybe i am really the black sheep of the family lol ... but i know my love for Him didnt wavered :) its a long process to heal and face up tough challenges ahead ...

Everyone has a skeleton in the closet, yet I dont know why i always have a feeling that one day i will bump into him in church one day... What if i really see him i really dont know what will i do ... Though the incident that took place has been many years ... the wounds may have heal but the scar is still left evident. With no help.. i walked out struggling alone in my life darkest period... its tough ... you have to act everyday normal like nothing has ever happen. Still putting a brave front to smile and socialised!!! Looking back i really take my hat off myself :) Will i really be able to forgive him? After all the nasty things he has done to me!!! Does he really deserve to be forgiven and granted a second chance???!!! God have mercy on me !!! :)
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Life is such ironic, when you are firm and strong, friends will say you are trying to act tough, but when you are too easy going following the crowd decision people will say i have no backbone decision on my own... so perplex and complicated. Why life cant be simpler? I need a new sets of friends that are positive, encouraging and affirming ... its time for a change.

I need to take a breather go to a place to start over and find a place where no one really knows me :) Perhaps friendship will be better if space is given between us.. may its true.

Many people dont know but I have been doing things on my own.. many people belittle me.. thinking that i cant stand alone being on my own... hahaha... maybe it was last time i was really afraid of being lonely and alone in massive crowds..

BUT things changed ... i have been stronger and doing alot of things on my own... whether to convince them or not its not an issue anymore and i dont really care now. I dont need their approval to tell me what to do. I already have moved on ...
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Finally i have left NAFA, yesterday was my last day. I was there for almost 2 years and somethings just dont changed. I was the earliest to work and the last to leave even to my last day. Was supper bz for the last few days trying to clear as much work as possible ... and i even missed Asia Conference :( Boy!!! Im so beat...

Never thought i will leave the place so fast :( i enjoyed my peers and make alot of good friends :) I was blown away when everyone wanted to buy me lunch for my departure and all my lunches with them was never boring :) I thank God for all of them and i know our friendship will still contiune even though we dont see each other everyday now... Leaving NAFA makes me more unbearable but when the time is up to leave the party.. you just have to go, and i am glad i did and i will be embarking a new pharse of this exciting journey.. whether make it or break it it will be an experience to withhold :)
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Recently a friend of mine came to me telling me she is in love and i was really happy for her. But what took a twist is she is in love with a married man with the same company. I was not taken aback but what shocked me was i know this man too when she showed me his pic...

Well.. one thing led to another, this friend of mine told me that another ex-colleauge of ours has taken fancy on her... My goodness... when she told me who was he... i almost fell off my chair!!!!!
Earlier this year i have just attended his wedding and yet .... He has always been our role model for marriage, a very Mr nice guy ... very cordial and helpful.. we are all saying that whoever marries him is a bliss... but i didnt expect him to turn his heart so fast!!!!

He was telling my friend that his wife is an ex-divorcee and due to her ex-hubby abussive manner she left him. And then she married my friend. Less than 3 months i was told by my gf that his wife is very abussive in words, and many often shouted at him and say words to hurt and bring my friend down!!!!

No wonder good man will stray if there is such a wife... hahaha... while attending their wedding few months ago.. i could see the bride is very outspoken compare to my colleague... Well, i just wish him good luck!!!

What can i say? The man i never thought off wander and strayed off... !!!! If he can stray... then what about others??? Oh my goodness where is the essence of marriage nowsadays??? I really dont know ... i am just shocked... i seems cant come in terms with what i have heard... i need to throw out my feelings... thats why i chose here...

I know in the 'realm of love' there is no right or wrong. Is really timing issue, you may have met your man of your dreams but he is belonging to someone else. The partner you are sleeping beside now may not always be the one you always love and wanted. Human are such a complicated animal! I am not a saint either but that doesnt mean i agree with my friend relationship but what i feel is i wont judge her base on her actions. I understand how antagnoising it must have felt to have a man yet cant hold.. priority is always given to his kids and family.. then her turn...

I think i am a generous person with friends.. but i wont want to share my spouse with another ... haiz... woman.. oh woman!!!! lol ... my dear frend J jokingly once told me.. if her hubby will to do something unfaithful to her.. she will cut off his ... ouch!!!! and threw it out of the window.. hahaha... hmmm....

Well happiness can be simple yet so complicated :) You just have to look forward and move ahead... Next stop ... next destination ... Happiness... I wish all well :)
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My dear sis is going to be in labour in 2 months time !!!!! Woohooo... i am so happy to be promoted to be an auntie soon :) cant wait to hold this little babe in my arms hehehe... its a tough pregancy for her after losing 3 before my dear chloe came forth. God thank you. You must have heard me and saw my giving and prayers :) Meanwhile ... i will anticipate this earthling to be birthforth. Thank God :)
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Okay... enough of throwing up... hahaha... i will be embarking a new role in a new job and i will looking forward to it... Meanwhile.. let me enjoy my Tim Sum time and Sex & City 2 with my dear friend Mrs Young... hahahaha... i shall looked forward for tomorrow... so glad to have her back ... welcome back my dear friend :)
Nite peeps... ZZzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzz
Peace out...

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Sung by : 辛曉琪~ 味道


今天晚上的星星很少
不知道它們跑哪處了
赤裸裸的天空星星多寂寥

我以為傷心可以很少
我以為我能過得很好
誰知道一想你思念苦無藥

無處可逃

想念你的笑想念你的外套
想念你白色襪子和你身上的味道
我想念你的吻和手指淡淡煙草味道
記憶中曾被愛的味道

今天晚上的心事很少
不知道這樣算好不好
赤裸裸的寂寞朝著心頭繞

無處可逃

想念你的笑想念你的外套
想念你白色襪子和你身上的味道
我想念你的吻和手指淡淡煙草味道
記憶中曾被愛的味道