Just Once.

Well... here is the song and this is how i am feeling now.. Just once.

听说爱情回来过...

He Is Back.

I was at home on Sunday... lazying around surfing on net.  Then i realise he is online!  After for so many years out of sight... manage to see him online today.  We chatted for awhile and I know after all somethings about him are still the same.  I can still remember so much things between us.

We exchange our greetings and via messenger and suddenly he makes me think of him so much.  The things we used to do, the email we used to exchanged, the places we used to go... the place where we used to lay.

My emotional hype is up again... its like an unstoppable wave.. Out of sudden, I have the urge to go KL to find him, to see him, to be in his arms again.. I'm glad he is well and i hope he is even better off there :)  When you love someone, i really wish him to be happy doing what he really wants.  Whether I am beside him or not.  It doesn't really matter anymore.

He is still the same :) and i know he is used to be so independent.  Aww.. i miss him... i miss the time when we are together.. how he cook breakfast for me.. send me home.. how we give each other a few good tease.. i know its never going to come back.  So what if i go over and spend sometime with him?  That will not guarantee anything.  I know it will make parting more difficult.  I hate goodbyes.. its hard to forget someone who used to give you so much to remember for..

Sometimes i wonder is it the person i am really missing or the feeling he gave me?  Marc has been a good lover.  Like most man, he always like to keep things to himself.  Sometimes how i wish i can take away whatever he is thinking with a wave of a wand.

I know i got to hold it together.. i keep telling me to move on and be strong.  Been through hell for the past two years.. nobody knows.  But i kept fighting... i kept holding on.  I tell myself i must not be defeated by circumstances that is so over-whelming.  I need a good sleep.  How i wish if just by sleeping, problems and heartaches will disappear!  I know it wont work this way :S dream on maybe.

I miss him.. I am missing him... wish I could turn back the clock and bring time to a stop.

Walking with Him

Find Me At The Cross

Happen to chance upon this song in FB posting last night.  Somehow tears seems to flow uncontrollably when I heard this.  Used to sing this song in Church during my younger days.  Oh how it brought me back to the place I used to love Him so much.

There is always forgiveness and love in Him I know.  Sometimes when the rut of life gets hold of us, we tend to lost sight of Him.  Out of sight.. Out of mind.  But I know He is always there.. The gentle still small voice still resides in our hearts today.

Like what the song says.. I wanna to walk with Him in my heart.  The walk maybe daunting and seems long and unending.. the road can be bumpy and rough.. but I know its all worth the walk.

Many had lay down their lives and the baton has been passed down to us.  Its up to us to walk a life worthy of our calling. 

God, please give us strength to walk this road call life.  We may get bruise with cuts at times, but let our love for You be ever so strong. 

Keep us oh God as the apple of your eye always and may your grace always abounce towards us.

Love U.
C