My Longing

Sometimes i wonder when will we be able to meet?
It really looks like you are beyond my reached.

This pinning i have long so strong
wonder what has actually gone wrong?

Some couples are easily destined to be together,
and lead a life happy ever after.

In this world of six billion,
I am not greedy just want to find you one in a million

Why is it so hard for us to meet?
I really dont know what is hindering it?

Sometimes i can sense you near
Sometimes i just feel that you are here.

But dont know why our path cant seems to cross
Even if it does will we be lost in the crowd without a cause?

Will i be ever let alone?
In this world of crazy place not my own?

Where charm is deceit and beauty is in need
But wonder how many will be able to resist it?

Sometimes i just need to find a space
Just between you and me when my longing needs a place
So i can just run into your warm embrace without a trace...

Memory Lane

Found a box of 'precious' in my room while i was doing my final clean up for the month. It was left unattended for a long time and so i decided to open it up... I grinned as i saw the items that was found inside the box.. :) memories came rushing in like the flood as one by one each item that was found inside the box has an untold stories..

Lying there was a kindergarten graduation picture of myself.. i wonder why i look so weird with perm hair? I dont remember im born with natural curls???.. hmm.. mum must be the cluprit who done that.

In that big box there lies all my credentials.. report books.. letters.. photo albums etc.. stuff that i have not been running through it with and now just feel so happy to recollect those memories one by one..the feelings are just like bumping into a long lost friend- Time for reunion :)

One thing i must admit, im not an intelligent person. Though someone have commented on me once that i look like one graduate :) well, i may look like one... talk like one but was never one... with that compliment of cos im really flatted. Well if there is a university to be qualify myself for, that will definitely be the school of great hard knocks of life :)

The first item i saw was my report books ... talk about my results.. haha.. when i was in my kindergartern.. i was position.. 44th person out of 52 in the class! haha.. thats comforting.. at least im not the last one .. but the red marks i have gotten in the report book sure scare the hell out of my folks.. heehee...

Growing up hasnt been an easy one not to say that my folks are not with me my thru my adolences period. All along, my small world was involved around with my grandma and grandpa. I see it as a way of a subsitituion of parental's love. My gran's love for me are really unconditional it surpasses all human love :) To them I was their proud grandchildren even though im always spoilt in other's eyes..

I always remember how i was the rotten apple in the class.. my form teacher often put remarks on the small blue note book to let me bring back to let my grandpa see and sign.. Each time when i got home i will hand it over to him.. and he will just sign and went thru it and he didnt really scold me haha.. he just shake his head and say.. not again?

The stuff my teacher wrote says that im lack of home supervision.. got to be neat.. brush up english.. got to get help.. blah.. blah.. blah.. haha..

Now ah gong is gone no longer around oh how i missed him.. i missed talking to him, i missed him carrying me in his arms when im still a child.. i missed him when he coaxed me to sleep and sing his favourite songs.. i just miss all of him :(

Even when going to secondary schools was not an easy task for me.. back there i was more darker in skin tone.. i dont look like a princess.. my hair cut is so tomboyish.. and there isnt any sense of feminity in me.. i was being mocked , disturbed, laughed at by classmates just because they think that im the 'ugly duckling' in class. My self-esteem went down to the rock bottom... and i hardly got any friends while im in my secondary one and two...

You must be finding very hard to believe when u read it rite? I find it hard too.. haha.. things change and people do change through situtations.. and before i know it.. i am who i am now by God's grace throughout the course of these years...

Who could have thought a girl that was so insecured and so low self esteem about herself can be a relational person in turn to be an extrovert? Who could have thought a girl who flunk her English while during school time where teachers almost gave up hope started to write blogs and own poems? Guess it was my darkest period where gifts, talents and ability were discovered.. and till now im still in search for my life's mission purpose :)

Since young i always wanted to explore whats over the other side of the world, going to overseas to studies and to have a taste of aboard life is one of my secret wish.. on seeing my childhood friend who went overseas how i wish sometimes im born into a better family.. and to me her life is just so plain sailing... no big storms.. no hurricane.. went australia to study and eventually get married to her first and last boyfriend, and now we lost contact... from the latest news i heard from other friends is she is happily married with 3 kids and a loving husband.

Cant complain much... my close friends always say if we tend to look what we dont have we will really become bitter and miserable.. but if we start counting our blessings one by one.. we will be surprised actually we might be better off then some others.

Life here on earth is so drama.. everyone played different roles.. and when one role has ended the other part of us has begin to take on into something else.

I used to think that as long as i tried my best not to change, we will maintain best of friends for life.. but now even if i havent change.. people around me started too, because of the change factor around our love ones.. either we moved along with them and enter into their seasons.. if not u will still be there and left behind. I was actually very disappointed with life changes, letters that my close friends in school that wrote to me that we will be friends forever is all now out of sight.. out of mind..

Have to move along with time and seasons now .. too much disppointments that i dont wish to talk about it.. so i have learn the hard way.. NEVER rely on people :) they are not forever.. and there is no such things as forever in life now....

Next.. there is a pile of letters and cards.. letters from my very own dear Pastor Kong. I was very happy to find back those cards and letters that Pastor Kong, Sun and some of the pionners that sent to me for encouragement while im still a young christian .. it brings comfort to my soul and .... hmm... maybe i should write a letter to Pastor to up keep about my life since we have not been able to catch up personally... :)

Wow.. so much i have written.. haha.. i just want to be happy.. getting more and more long winded.. okay... time to go for the black box again to distress before i hit my head on the sack...

New Year 2007

Spend the first day of this new year with Sharon, we went to watch a comedy show Night at Musem. Quite light hearted movie.

Then we headed straight to Ya Kun for coffee... talk a fair bit.. talk about the people we know.. about the past, present and future :) guess i have always like her company though technically speaking both of us are quite similar in some ways. Thank God for friends that go through life together and brave through storms.. Sab, Sharon and I three of us are so different in character.. yet i wonder what hold us together for so many years.. God must be the 'glue' in between us that hold the friendship.

Of cos along the way, God brought in friends to help us in the walk with Him and in this Cell i have make a few close ones. Indeed, i do pray that all our friendship will not change through out the different seasons of our life :) Use to be in relationship and used to 'worship' my boyfriend like god... my whole world used to involved around him and thus i neglected my friends.. and when he is no longer around, my world fell apart and it took me great pain to learn this vaulable lesson.

So from then, i have learn to treasure friendship especially those whom i hold close.. i will try to protect them and keep them from harm not to let other people bully of take advantage of them.. haha.. sounds like a big sister big.. but indeed im the oldest among them hehe..


Spring Cleaning

Have been procrastinating to clean up my room for a very long time finally... the dust.. cobwebs that has been accumlated for months has been wipe out! Hahah.. i think its a good start for a new year.

Can you imagine? I started to do spring cleaning on 12noon... it may sound too exeragerting.. i done my clean up around till 8pm!!! Gosh!! so freaking tired.. am i cleaning a palaca or wat it took about 8 hours to clear my rooms. I realise that i got 9 new pairs of shoes that i have bought that yet to wear.. 3 boxes of bags that i have not use for a long time and many many accessories... opps... so that leave me with no excuses to shop for a while..

A sign of relief came when i saw the end product of it... my room is clean again i wonder how can i live in that kind of mess haha.... i hv learn a lesson from this spring cleaning...

• Never procrastinate the things that was intended to do or else in the end you will end up clearing more and more dust and cobwebs
• Make up your mind to do spring cleaning regualry
• Be ruthless and throw away those unnecessary stuffs which u used to cherish them it will occupy more space in the end!

In spiritual aspects.. dont left your problems and things left unattended.. the more you drag on the more emotional bagages you will accumlate. As a result you will take longer time to heal.. Do stock-take in your life.. and see how far you have gone and how much more to go.. Finally be ruthless to those unnecessary memories.. how can the new ones come in while u still cling on to the old? :)

Haha.. so much so for this new year... i pray this year will be the best year yet!

Reflections of 2006..

Here it comes.. finally 2006 is history and it marks down the new birth of an other New Year 2007. Looking back, 2006 has been one of the most exciting and challenging year so far for me. Since after i came back to God, i have been cruising my life like the ship that has taken a long vacation.

Last Year was not a bad year after all, get to go to Hong Kong with some wonderful people and its a memorable trip that i guess i will not be able to forget for a very long time :) But life goes on and it will the best part of memories that i used to have with my friends.

Begining January...

One of the higlights i witness is the proposal of my pal Sab and Edwin.. love so sweet so pure finally they are together :) I really wonder wat went thru on Sab's mind when Edwin took out the ultimate ring? Haha.. Its a happy ending for them and it will begining a new chapter for them.

Loving Feburary...

Hmm.. after going one big round John and Louisa are finally together :) cant help but to feel happy as im in the part of the middle person to bring them together.. If this one whole year i didnt do anything good, guess this will be the best thing i have ever done! i didnt know that i can be a good matchmaker hehe.. All the best folks! U will have a beautiful life ahead.

Having lunch with the pioneers in church are so unforgetable too.. Seeing all my old friends in church and makes me realised how times really pass me by so fast.. Never forget the moment that Pastor Kong still remember me i feel so privilege to be part of this move of God.

Transition March...

It was a month i thought and come into realisation that people are not with u forever. People change and because change is the constant thing in life we have to get used to it. Im someone who doesnt really like changes very much, i hate it when u have to get to know unfamiliar person or situations all over again. But i guess thats unavoidable, just like how i see my close friends seeing one by one getting married or attached, it left me so insecure and afraid about what my future will hold for me. Well, i have learn to deal with it then and its a constant battle that you have to renew my mind :) i will emerge!

Foolish April...

Never thought that i will do something like this. Guess it will be my first time and last time to do that.... Going to tic tac toe.. Gosh! You wont believe it i know.. i really dont enjoy it! While many people are having fun and good reveiws about it.. personally i will not go for such set up event anymore! Feel so out of place, feel like a fish out of water kind.. you name it you have it. hehe...

Emerging May...

Went for operations that month.. doctor found cyst grown near my ovary.. seriously all along i have never stayed in hospital in my whole life and it sure scare me to death that week when i was admitted to the hospital. The operating therate was sure was cool and scary, but the friendly nurses and the skillful doctor did warm my anxious heart when i was there.

Haha.. I thought i will never see tomorrow :) guess i got much unfinished business to do here on earth thats why God is still perserving me. I was grateful to the people who visited me.. my cell group mates and my family members and friend and my kodomo... haha.. These are the people who stood by me :) Thank U all!

Discovery June...

I admit that im not a woman of many talents.. many times i thought that the only talent i have is the gift of gab ... to talk and talk.. but during June period it was one of the most difficult period to go through. I was jobless and everything in my life seems to be in a deep dark valley... but the funny part is when i was in my valley ... i actually discover i have another talent yet to unleash to the fullest potential.

As i was very depress without a job and was very stress thinking of how to meet ends need. At that time i have alot of time to work with computer and blog and check my emails etc... and just somehow.. creative juice flow out of me to compose peoms about my life and also peom for my friends.. I was truely very amazed by this hidden talent that has been discovered.. Hm.. i wonder how many more talent i have :)

Thankful July...

I got a job on time :) and was very happy then when things start to get into place. God came thru for me again this time.. How can i ever not thank Him for all the things that is happening in my life? Celebrated my birthday too with a bunch of good supporting friends. And im just so happy that my path cross with all these wonderful people.

Lazy August...

Lazy to write... cant really want happen on that month.

Poetic September...

Guess on September i wrote the most peom.. it reveals how i feel.. dont wish to explain further.

Excuses October...

????? Lazines or forgetulness took over again...

Sweet November...

Looks like when the year is coming to close .. the lesser i wrote.. hehe..

Happy December...

Very happy in December.. good weather... long holidays.. and enjoyed fun time shopping for gifts for people i cherished. Feel happy as they like the gifts i have given.. its the joy of giving during this season Ho.. Ho.. Ho.. Went to Jason's house for Chrismas it was nice and most of us gather there to have a nice steamy steam boat...

Last nite went few of us gather at Louisa & John new house to watch fire works and countdown.. indeed it was fun though...

So much so for 2006... victories and defeats, happiness and sadness, leaving and reuniting, death and separation, heartaches and pain, disappointed heart turns hopeful again. etc.. After all God is still unchanged. He is still the same Abba when i call at nite. He is the pillar of support that i have held on to for so many years.. He is still that silent listener whenever my heart desires..

Yes.. indeed 2007 will be a better year than 2006... yes... i will walk another year of victories and though great is my fear.. but greater will be my courage! Without fear there will be no courage! :)

Goodbye 2006.... Welcome 2007....

Kang Tan & I Part II


Pictures of me and Kang Tan together ... dont u think she is so cool with her new found sunglass :)

His Instrument

God let me be your light to shine through darkness
Cause your light to shine on me Lord so they will see you in me

God let me be your heart to feel the hurting
When there is need arises i will touch them with your healing

Let me be an instrument of your love to reach out
in this cold world where all hatred and strife is all about

God let it be me as i obey your call
Little by little even it pains to surrender to give you my all

You have been my help and strength in times of troubles
You are the one i call upon when i thought my life is over

And with what i have i will give it back to you for your use
because of the love i have for u i will render it back all to you

An Afternoon With My God mum


I was at home the whole day... counting my cost deciding which company to be in.. so i was mending my own business and my god mum came down today to bring food for my granny. Yes tonight, im going to write about her...

Since young growing up in my granny's house, i always heard many good report about her, how she is so fillial to the elders and how good she is and she has always been an example for all of us to follow... she works hard without complaining... a typical virtuous wife that you can find in the bible Proverbs 31

Though she is a good woman and deserves a man to love her whole heartedly but life is always so full of twist and turn... we expect good woman will end up marrying a good man, but its always the other way round..

My uncle has not been a faithful man to her for many years and he is a hard core gambler i should say he is the 'black sheep' in the family... everytime things started and happen bcos of him. Throughout my growing up years, i witness many unpleasant things.

Years past, by God's grace, i was the first christian in my family, i recalled at that time when God touched my world from that moment i knew life took a new turn then follow by my sister but now she is far from God. And later on i witness to my cousin Dave which is my godmum's son. What the bible say is so true.. if one is saved, eventually the whole household will be saved..

My cousin witness to my godmum, eventually thank God she gave her heart to HIM. I can see that dramatic change in my godmum when God came into her heart.. she was so changed and she threw away all her idols that she has worship all her life! Suddenly i thought i saw a new woman :) a woman full of strength and so much peace within her.. she is no longer the sad face lady full of life toil on her face, infact she is glowing with God's love.

Today she came down and came to my room, we had a long talk, we talk about life, talk about God and i asked her if ever she thought of leaving my uncle since he is in a very bad shape now.. she say she didnt want to leave him, she say bcos of God's love that is in her, she has learn to forgive and let go and move on with God. I could feel so much love and peace of God came within her :) for a moment, i thought i have backslided.. haha.. sometimes i feel so pai seh compare to her passion for God and mine is a long distance away..

I prayed for her.. haha first time in chinese..and ministered to her and we cried, God is in our midst in my humble room.. tears of gratitude for God seems to flow uncontrollably from our eyes.. God is faithful and He will take care of us.

Then my Godmum so sweet, she in turn ask me if i have someone in mind... i am so shy.. haha.. dont really know how to answer her, all i ask her is to pray for me.. then without hesitation, she grab my hands close eyes and prayed in chinese and Teo Chew.. though the prayer for a husband from her seems simple but its so full of love and sincerity.. she was asking God to bring my knight to me, a harvester to protect and take care of me, someone that is true... etc..

i chuckled while she prayed i felt so sweet, God must have heard her.. haha.. so we end our day with prayer and a big hug! What an afternoon with her and i know that my man is on the making...

And ending that leads a new begining..

Yes, its in the middle of the nite again... and back to blog today.. actually was about to go to sleep but one of my friend ask me to watch a show in channel U " How to say I do". Its a show about telling and expressing how people felt towards each other.

And today there is a lady who has make up her mind and today she is going to express her liking to a friend of hers that she has been carrying a touch for him for 5 long years. They have known each other for 10 years being school friends etc.. i wonder where did she gather all her courage to express how she feel? I guess it must be very tormenting liking someone yet cant seems to recipocate back her feelings.. so she decided to seek media help hoping that that man that she harbour liking for will say Yes to her..

Much work and preparation is done for her.. she went the extra mile to do her hairdos.. manice and pettie cure, seek professionals abt her out fit etc... many days work just simply wait for that special day to come just to impress someone she really hope to be with..

The moment of truth came, they decided to fix him up at one of the resturant and when the celebrity brought him to her, and when the curtain is drawn, i can see the awarkardness in the man's eyes.. yes to a certain extend i guess he must be touched by her sincerity..

Then for the lady.. she gathers her courage by singing a chinese song 'Love requires courage' then she tell him how she feels.. the liking for him for years seems to take into a different height. She is just so in love with him.. and she bravely expressed out her fondness to him.. oh man.. its so touching.. i cried :) its such and emotional sight, if a man i like will to do that.. i will say yes without any hesitations.

But reality is cruel after all... whatever the lady effort that has been done for many days all is being exchange for one sentence from the man...' its best we are better off as friends' i can see tears swell up in her eyes.. i cried with her too.. it sounded so silly.. as if im just like her.. i can understand how she must have felt. She is so brave, if for me i dont know how to take a 'No" for and answer if a man i like rejected me out front on national TV.

All her hopes that she longs to be with him has been crushed instanteously without betting an eye lid, truth really hurts but i guess its better off this way.. rather than pinning and hoping at guessing and thinking whether he loves me or he loves me not..least it came to an end of her dreams being with him.. i think it may do the lady good so that she can move on with her life to really seek out the man who really love and cherish her, life is too short to be wasted on just a man's rejection:) today's rejection maybe tomorrow accepectance from another person... so as long as we dont give up finding the right one.. im sure we will meet one day :)

Thats life i guess, im sure she will be stronger and its that man lost anyway. I always believe that love works both ways. It will not be fair if one party gives more all the time :)

Well i do hope he will do that too :) but sometimes somethings in life is not up to us to decide. I always wonder will he be the one for me? We are so different in many ways yet i like his character :) that is why it attracts me to him. So what if feelings for both of us are mutual but yet cant be together? So much hesitations and uncertainities that lies ahead of us.

Seriously i cant really think so much now for myself, so many urgent issues on hand and i have just to put aside my own agenda for awhile...i miss him though.. not use of having him not around :) as he is away serving the nation.. he will be gone for weeks.. well life goes on... and on...

This peom was written for Louisa and and John.. it was meant for them as i have promise to write for them for their wedding card.

Here it goes..

Two hearts two lives
So differently made but now they beat as one
This love so sweet yet so divine
Happily seeing them leading a new life
Who would have thought they are make for each other?
It must be God who brought them together
So with all the well wishes from family and friends
To the newly couple may they marriage will be bliss forever.

Take Me Back....

Take me back to the first time where we first met
Take me back to the first love where my heart is intact

Take me back to the place where we used to gather
With you beside me so much faith, joy and laughter

Take me back to your presence Lord
Where grace is found when I surrender all

Oh take me back and lead me on forever
Under your wings as we soar together

As I place all my hopes and dreams in you my master and friend
I know my future is in good hands

Heaven

Some say heaven is a place where everyone longs to go
A place no pain or sorrow

Some say heaven is a place where we can play all day
And forgetting all our troubles away

But I say heaven is a place where we meet God face to face
And worshiping Him together all day

Heaven is a place where there is no tears
As God has already drive away all fears

Heaven is a place where sadness disappear
Because God is always near

So I say heaven is a wonderful place to stay
Where all the saints will gather there one day

Walking with Him

There are moments that we go through mountain tops
There are moments that we go through deep valleys

But I know no matter where you go Lord
My heart will always follow

There are times I may sulk like little child
As things in my life is not what I thought all about

But again because of your unfailing love that never ceases
It gives me reason to believe that all these while you are here right beside me

Being with you on this journey can be anticipating
As each step i may not know where you are leading

So Lord please be my heartbeat when mine is hurting
Be my feet when my strength is failing
Be my guide when my sight is weakening

Help me to complete my walk with you
because you are my God since my youth

Some day i will see you face to face
And one thing i will do forever is to be in your warm embrace

Depression

Deeper and deeper to the valley I go
Not knowing when my life is going to be unfold

Been in this circle for so long
Up and down this coaster ride for gone

Wish that I will be out of this pit
But who can really help me out of it

Friends along me started to cheer me up
But I know I can only be the one who can gear myself up

Don’t know when this monster will go away
So that I can go out to the field and play

Friendship with all of you ...


Hahaha... er... nothing much.. but just a quick snap shot ..
i took together with Kan Tan today... haha.. Nice :) power! Hey Kan Tan.. Thanks for your friendship.. Let me recap what we learn in cell today.. Our character is tested.. in the daily.. or should i say weekly irritation? haha.. tks for allowing me to "irritate" or "disturb" you weekly :) cheers to our friendship..



Nothing beats in the company of many good friends.. thanks for making my birthday such a memorable one :) Though my oil king has not arrive yet.. But God surrounds me with many good friends to be with me on this day. Cant thank you people enough.... May we all grow old together :)

Hey John: whr is my man hunt? Got pray for me boh?
Kan tan : if you want your cafe fast.. pray more than 3 times can? hahaah.. hurry up.. time is ticking liao... tick tock.. tick tock...

When God Seems Silent

Finally broke into writing my blog again. Yes its in the middle of the night while the whole world is half asleep. When back home.. feeling stunned, amazed, over wheelemed by His grace once again. Yes He did it again for me :) He is like a superman that come to my rescue just in time of need. He is like the hero that rescue me from the hands of the villians and take me back into His arms. He is ever so faithful when im so faithless, He is the hope of the dawn and the light of the tunnel. Yes He is my God, my help, my comforter in times of need...

Looking back, one and half months ago I was in my pit. Pit of despair, pit that i thought i will take a long time to come out of it. I have an obstacle to go through, im looking for a job and i need to find one fast to meet ends needs. I have try all ways and not to be passive about it... but "luck" seems not to be on myside. Those jobs that i wanted always never seems to pass by my way... I was very discourage.. funds are depleting and im into my panick mode. I went into depression, but however i almost wanted to give up but i didnt..

Many times i wanted too.. but i tell myself surely there will be a job for me. Edwin, Meijie & Martin got they job on the spot and i didnt even have any offer coming in. I grin with envyness and i wish God will quicken His favour towards me. I felt forsaken.. abandon.. thrown aside and left to "die" and survive on my own. Felt God must have forsaken me.. i cried.. i whined.. i pleaded with God many nights but nothing seems to work.

But i kept on going.. the waiting part is the most daunting and unbearable, i tithle to God my last pay check, i give offerings beyond the normal giving, just to grab God attention and make His head turn towards me in hope that He may take notice of my giving.

Last two weeks i cant feel God, though service and cell group is good i just somehow feel miles apart from Him. I do a spiritual check and i realise that... my heart is begining to harden and cold.. where is that passion for Him has gone too? I think im overly disappointed with life, and everything around me i wonder will i really get to see the light after the tunnel?

Just as i was really beyond discouragement, i even told Jane if there is a mountain i want to run and hide so tat at least i dont have to look so down and beaten.. haha im so useless all i want to think of is to run and hide away from people and circumstances.Im really at my lowest peak... how much further i can go? Sleepless nite, fund depleting, so stressful ...

Miracles came to me on Friday while i was at home preparing to go out for another so call interview... I recieve a call from this company and so i decided to give a try... Lo and behold when i lest expected, miracles awaits to be unfold. I got the JOB! Yes no joke... its not a prank .. i got a job and when it came so suddenly.. i almost cant breathe.... Finally i thought to myself God has finally set His eyes on me! He finally set His miracles for me.. just for ME! All in all the job was a jump for me to another level. An executive position that enable me to travel with SEA region. It was like a dream coming true :) I have always wanted to do regional role as a HR person and it will be a good opportunity for growth.

Coming to think of it, i realise that life is really so unpredictable, yesterday was feeling like in the pit of hell looking for an exit, the next moment before you know it you are on your way to heaven. God comes in when i least expected it and each day is like a brand new day awaiting for new things new miracles to be unfold. Never say never in life thats for sure in life and life itself is never guaranteed.

Attitude Of Gratitude

During the last two weeks which when im at my lowest moment point of my life, i thought that it my life is going to be it.. hopless.. aimless.. and i felt God miles away from me really. But my cell members came in as God's hand and love at my lowest moments... they extended their concern for me and they are always so believing when my faith seems low...

So i wish to thank the following angels that have come by my way to encourage me and see me thru...

Thow Wee: You always amazes me :) really, you are so encouraging when i cant find my way.. and yet week in week out your smses.. call and prayer are so uplifting. During this time, you have been a great help :) though you may not think you have done alot but i think you have done whatever you could to help me. Thanks friend... looks like we are going up the valley again and this journey with you have been exciting..

Laurel: Remember the lunch you bought me the other day on Prem's birthday? We spoke much and you understand much :) Until now... my stomach is still craving for the chicken pepper steak. Anymore treat from you? haha... Thanks, it really warms my heart. And i know you have share my joy too :)

Ah Beng: Ah Beng ah beng... thanks for your wonderful idea of setting up the stall outside expo hall ... haha.. too bad i dont need liao nor i need to call for .." Tissue paper... tissue paper.. i want to call call call call... the tissue paper." hehehe... thanks ah beng for being so funi at times.. Thanks for your support too :)

Sharon: What can i say about you.. :) haha.. im beyond words. We seems to have the same kind of thinking at times and our friendship are rather unique. Thanks for your concern and love over all these years.. i do get to see the lighter side of you now.. hehee.. Thanks for your card and indeed all things will work out good to those who love God. May you find your career break thru soon.. believing with you :)

Sabrina: Hey sleeping pill.. i thank God for you too. I guess you do understand how i feel and thanks for the time u stood there listening.. You are such a blessing to have as a friend... Remember that Sunday you pass me an envolpe i was so touched by the love gift you give.. though it may not be millions.. haha.. but i do feel the love you have for me :) Thanks for standing by me.

Edwin: Hey edwin... though you beat me in getting the job first but however... we started work on the same day LOL :) Thanks for the encouragement you have shown and may we thrive on our careers... Lets shine for God in the market places..

Louisa: You have been my support all these while whether outwardly or inwardly. Your inner strength and sensitivity always amazes me. Thanks for being my friend and you have been a great " driver" to me all these while hahaa.. tks so much for all your prayers and love :)

John: I will never forget how 3 of us held hands in Louisa's car and prayed. Your prayers are always so sincere and true and so POWER..haha.. God must have heard you and He quicken my process of my job hunt.. Now i have another task for you..please help me pray for my 'man hunt' haha ..

Ling Siang: As i have said before you are one of the best leader anyone could ever have, thanks for being there and standing by believing with me :)

Chau Chau: Superman.. though your show is not so SUPER.. but i still think you are superb :) thanks for praying for me with siang in church that week for my job... Er.. i promise.. i will still continue to cause you to be long suffering.. haha..

Na Na: Dont know if you got a chance to read this blog, if you do, just want to let you know that your sms and calls always comes least expected haha.. hmm... i enjoy your friendship! You so fun to be with! Thanks for your encouragement.

Xiao Mei : I know you have been worried for me thanks for your prayers... and now... haha.. we can go shopping again liao.

Simon: Though we may not talk alot even if we do.. i always like to tease and 'swan' you but hor i remember your msn telling me not to be disheartened when i m feeling low.. and it gave me hope to hope again :)

Jane: Kan tang.. kan tang... thanks for the whining and sighing i hv given you.. haha.. i know u care for me :) thanks for being so positive... and your blog is always so inspiring write more k.

Joyce: You have been a fun person to hang out with.. though we may be in the same boat at that time without a job u still encourage me :) i pray that your job will come soon too.. and its been fun knowing you.. Thanks for the friendship you hv given.

debbie: Just started to know you at first i thought you are a quiet person who doesnt talk much, but hor.. as the days goes by.. im wrong haha.. still water runs deep.. you are indeed one of them :) Hope to get to know you better in time to come..

Shufen: Thanks for your concern too and your support :) Hope to get to know you better.

Too much to write and too many people to thank for :) I guess all friends are God sent. I want to thank my family too especially my ah ma.. she has been my support all these while, and bearing my nonsense at home hahaha.. thanking her that she did not nag at me... hahaaha.. I love you ah ma! Not forgetting my sister, she has been quite concern for me too!

But most of all i want to thank God :) for everything.. for giving me all these friends and family memebers to hold during those stormy moments. Thanks you Jesus... you are indeed my SUPERMAN!

Got to go... till then.. stay tune for more blogs.. and let the other part of my new journey life begins..

(This is a poem I have spent thru the nite to compose for Prem, for his birthday... Hope he will like it)


I Live For Him

Before I know it I was born
into this world full of thorns

Where there is hatred and constant fight
I always fend my life with all my might

Every day when Im awake
decision upon decision I have to make

So many times I done it wrong
and I thought all my future is gone

Life to me seems ableak
and I thought I may not make it

Just as I thought I will drown my sorrows
but you came into my life an give me a tomorrow

Your light seems to came into me
to penetrate my inner being

So today as I stand
in the company of many good friends

Through thick and thin
they have been
but nothing beats the strength from within

As today I grow a year older
I pray I will be one year wiser

Now I can say today is really my day
as I will live my life nothing but by God's way

Living in a closet

Who is this little girl living inside my closet?
Why is she trying to hide?

Running away from her past
Hiding this shell behind
Here is that little gal who used to gone astray
When life seems cant let have her way

Past seems like a leech that always stick
But here she is determine to come out it

Talk to an angel friend that day
As that little girl seems to lost her way

That angel asked her to let the leech go
So that the real girl inside her can glow

Hard for this little girl it may seems
But friends cheers kept comimg in
To give her courage that she need

So from now till then
This little girl in the closet is coming out
slowly but surely
with confidence, boldness and with a shout

As break through is on its way
Come on girl
Dont you stray, hold fast to your belief
Dont give up halfway

Cloudy days and stormy nights will soon go away

Sanctuary

When my world was in darkness
You spoke your word
Night turn into day
Your beauty filled this place

When my world stood in silence
You filled my heart with songs that never end
Forever I will Praise

To think that the univese could not withhold your glory
you choose to live in me
Im so amazed

And I worship you Lord
My life in you restored
Here is my heart make it your sanctuary
For nobody else but Jesus only you

You are faithful and true
Glorious Lord all my life its you I adore

You've touched my soul
Completed my world
I surrender to you

And I worship you Lord
My life you restored
Here is my heart make it your sancturay
For nobody else but Jesus only you

Staying Young

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry
about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. (Keep Me! Keep Me! :) The grouches pull you down. (Keep this In
mind if you are one of those grouches.)

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the
brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who
makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM / HER.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire
life, is yourself. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love. Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants,
hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. How about your relationship with God?

8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what
you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country,
but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

My Spiritual Family :)